The Voice that Led me to You
by TheAnimeHannah
Summary: Shiro never should have accepted that stupid job as a judge on the hit TV show 'the voice'. It was his band friend, Grimmjow that had made him go for it. Although now things are starting to look up! - Shiro falls in love with one of the contestants who stole his breath away. But what happens when friends, families and the past get in the way of his only desire? Rated T for now.
1. Turn around

**This is my first full (hopefully) length fanfiction and it is in no way scripted. This means the update's will most likely be random but reviews will make me type quicker (hint hint) Let me know what you think ^.^**

"Get that fucking brush outta ma face!"

The person applying his make-up quickly scrambled, apologising as she did so; it didn't fool him. The albino looked at the sneaky auburn haired girl and glared daggers at her as she trotted back behind the cameras, a smirk appearing on her face as soon as she was out of camera shot. He hated that backstabbing bitch. Why did she have to work in the same place as him? "Cool it Shiro," a blue-haired man said, from across him.

"Why should I!?" he huffed, slouching in the oversized red chair – He wasn't having the best of days and to top it all off, a slag from high school who had been chasing him for years suddenly turns up.

He didn't care what the audience in front of him saw. He was in front of bright lights that were blinding him and making him grouchy as he grew warmer by the second. So far, all the acts that had been on bored him - It really wasn't his day. The snowy haired man should have known this would be trouble when he opted for it. His agent, Urahara, always was a dodgy character so it was really his own fault that he had ended up in this shit hole. Who even watched 'the voice'? Shiro had never even heard of it until his agent presented him with the job of a judge. Maybe the fact that all his friends were also judges convinced him to join the bandwagon? Shirosaki Hichigo, the lead guitarist of a band called Pantera was among the four judges and so far he was regretting his decision. The blue-haired guy sitting next to him was also in his band and he was the lead vocalist called Grimmjow Jeagerjacques. He was the albino's best friend even if he was a total adrenaline junkie who loved fights (and a good fuck) Next to Grimmjow was a temperamental woman called Neliel Tu Odelschwanck. She was in an all girl band that was slowly making its way up in the world; this job was a way of promoting her band, plus Grimmjow had pulled a few strings for her. It was just a feeling but he was sure she was blackmailing him in some way. Finally, the man at the end was Nnoitra Gilga, a very tall man who wouldn't seem to stop grinning like a maniac. In truth, Shiro didn't know what the guy did. He thought that maybe he used to be in a band that was now disbanded but he couldn't tell for sure. Shiro first met the guy through Grimmjow at a party celebrating the band's first album. Actually, when he thought about, all of the judges were friends of Grimmjows that Shiro had gotten to know. _Tsk, show's how many actual friends I've got! _Grimmjow turned and grinned at Shiro, his face resting in his hand as he let some twats fiddle with his vibrant hair. "Apparently with the next bunch we might 'ave better luck,"

"Why's that?"

"Nnoitra got a look at them," he replied, jerking his thumb in the lanky mans direction.

Shiro cackled sarcastically before slumping back in his chair. "Nnoitra fucks anything that moves and ya're actually listenin' ta 'im?"

Grimmjow pushed the hair attendants off him and returned to Shiro. "Stop sulking just because I keep stealing your acts," he smirked.

"I swear its cause of ya hair that they don't pick me," he muttered darkly.

"Are you seriously getting jealous over ma hair?"

The albino said nothing but just stared out at the audience who were all cheering and hooting like lunatics. How the hell could they jump around in this crowded and heated studio? "Shiro!" chirped a high-pitched voice before massive breasts were clamped around his head, restricting his breathing.

"Get off me ya bitch!" he shouted, his voice muffled from the amount of flesh that was pressing into his face.

Nel slowly untangled herself from Shiro and pouted her lips at him revealing the glassy inner rim of her lip that was loaded with lip gloss. "You still sulking Shiro-san?"

"I am not sulking!"

For once, he had found someone who could sing decently and then Grimmjow fucking Jeagerjacques had won her over with his flirting skills and those stupid colourful locks. Normally he would say that the hair was unnatural to the girl who gawped over him but he knew from a party that got out of hand that it was in fact natural.

"She wasn't even that fit," she complained, moving back to her seat which was thankfully nowhere near him.

"Does she know I hate women?" he asked Grimmjow who was still grinning like an idiot.

"I have told her – she's hoping that she'll make you change her mind," he said, waggling his eyebrows.

Shiro rolled his eyes but couldn't help the small smile that crossed his lips. "Not in a million years,"

"Still fun to watch," he said.

"Ya're not ta one on the receiving end,"

"_Places everyone!" _

Shiro sighed at the annoying voice that blared over the studio and sat back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn't expect the rest to be any different from the last but he would have to go sooner or later or he'd have no acts and then have to end up going for all the rejects. Grimmjow too exhaled loudly and shifted in his seat and gave his best smile to the audience showcasing his brilliant white teeth. _Show off. . . _ They all sat in silence as they waited for the next act to come on stage. The albino watched the girls in front of him swoon as the new contestant entered the stage. Great - he was another eye catching person who sang like a cat wailing. Shiro waited for the music to start and was blown away with the first note instantly. His eyes widened spectacularly and before he knew it, he had slammed the red button so hard and so fast that he was sure the button broke. It didn't help that the man was singing a Pantera song in his sexy baritone voice. As the chair span around all he could think about was the luscious voice coaxing him in and then a flash of orange. _Wow. . . _


	2. Connection

**So far this story is doing well (in my opinion) and I can't get this out of my head so here you go! The second chapter uploaded faster than normal :3 Please Review – It is what feeds my creativity!**

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><p>"You are going to do fine!"<p>

Ichigo sighed but couldn't help the smile that escaped his lips as the petite raven-haired girl attempted to give him a bone-crunching hug. He ran a quick hand through his vibrant orange locks before wrapping his long arms around her small body returning the gesture. "Thanks Rukia,"

Rukia smiled up at him before retracting her arms from his waist and handing him his guitar; a catchy 15 painted on the front in the same colour as his hair. "Remember, go for Grimmjow!" she reminded him.

"I still don't get why you're bullying me into going for him. 1. He might not turn around and 2. I like Shirosaki," he pouted.

Rukia crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes at her friend's preferences in men. "Ichigo my gay friend," she said, clapping a hand over his back. "He's a guitar soloist,"

"And? I have a guitar if you didn't realise which is why he'll be good for me,"

The small girl held her hand to her head as if preventing a headache before pointing at the massive letters spray painted on the wall. "Do you see it say 'the guitar'? No fool! It's the 'voice' for a reason,"

"Remind me again why I have to listen to you," he muttered doing his best to glare daggers at the girl in front of him.

"I'll tell your father,"

Ichigo gulped and glared at her again. He really wanted to say 'you wouldn't' but in all honesty she would actually be that cruel. It's not like he didn't care that his father knew it was just that if he did find out he would pull him out of the competition at all means necessary. He didn't even know why that crazy old goat-face he calls a father, wanted him to become a doctor; he hated blood. "That's just low of you," he mumbled to Rukia, pulling himself away from family issues.

Rukia smiled and pushed him off towards the stage, her face practically glowing at his dismay. "Good luck!" she managed to chirp out before he was whisked away by guys in black.

God, he hated that girl. Ichigo clung his guitar tightly to his body as the roar of the crowd grew louder making frogs leap nastily in his stomach. Stage nerves sucked for him – why did he even enter!? Oh yeah – he thought it would be a laugh, something fun to do. "Wait here," a voice commanded, leaving him on his own as the camera crew and audience began to hush awaiting his arrival.

He took a few deep breaths trying to control his racing heart as the guys on stage set up his microphone. Everything was beginning to rush in on him at once making him regret the decision to come here. Ichigo was seriously beginning to doubt the song he had chosen and the idea of playing his guitar but it was too late to go back as someone threw thumbs up in his direction; a silent order for him to move his butt on stage. He nodded hastily before stepping into the blinding lights and scorching heat. His eyes instantly flitted towards the chair named Shirosaki, his heart wilting at the thought that even if he did turn he had to choose the blue-haired twat. Suddenly the steady drum beat echoed off the small walls off the studio indicating the beginning of the song. Within a few seconds his fingers were twitching against the taut strings instantly calming his nerves as he began to sing.

_Settle down with me~ _

_Cover me up, cuddle me in _

_Lie down with me – And hold me in your arms_

Ichigo's eyes widened as a massive boom surrounded his ears before he watched Shirosaki's chair spin around, his golden eyes lying hungrily on him. Ichigo couldn't help the small smile that crossed his lips transforming his shy composure to one of confidence as he continued his song. Maybe this slow, heart-wrenching song was a good idea after all.

_And your heart's against my chest_

_Lips pressed to my neck_

_I've fallen for your eyes - But they don't know me yet_

He chuckled internally at the lyrics – He looked straight into those golden eyes that burned so brightly and wished that they did know him. He knew it was possible in fairytales but could he really be falling in love with just one look?

_And the feeling I forget – I'm in love now. _

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved, wanna be loved, wanna be loved. _

_This feels like falling in love, falling in love, falling in love. _

He continued strumming the strings as Grimmjow's chair swivelled around – He couldn't help but feel disappointed that now he couldn't choose Shirosaki but as least he would see him around and anyway. . . . for some reason he felt as if the albino were joining in with the song.

_Settle down with me_

_And I'll be your safety _

_You'll be my lady. _

His heart did small leaps of joy as Shirosaki started singing along - the words reflecting their mood. He wanted to laugh when he changed the word 'lady' to 'man' but settled for a smile that was eating up his entire face. _Wait . . . Does this mean? _Ichigo knew the guitarist was gay but right now . . . was he somehow flirting? He raised a challenging eyebrow as Shirosaki mouthed the next words, a smirk raised on his face.

_I was made to keep your body warm_

Ichigo retaliated by singing the next line with so much emotion trying to gauge a reaction and to see if in fact Shirosaki was flirting with him.

_But I'm as cold as the wind blows _– he sang, looking straight into his eyes not bothered by the fact that all the judges had now turned around and they were staring oddly at the couple. He actually rolled his eyes as Shirosaki mouthed the next words – _So hold me in your arms. _God, he was enjoying this too much.

_Yeah, I've been feeling everything_

_From hate to love_

_From love to lust_

_From lust to truth_

He thought of his family and all the past boyfriends when he thought of those lines. It had been tough being gay, especially when you grow up without the support of your parents. He wanted to stop singing when he albino mouthed the next lyrics, his feelings conveyed perfectly.

_I guess that's how I know you _

_So I hold you close_

_To help you give it up. _

_So kiss me like you wanna be loved, wanna be loved, wanna be loved. _

_This feels like falling in love, falling in love, falling in love~ _

He hummed the last note, his fingers aching from plucking the strings so hard in his passionate onslaught. _That was possibly the best thing I have done in my life _he thought, panting slightly as the audience cheered clearly oblivious to what had just happened between himself and Shirosaki. He smiled at the audience and swung his guitar to his back, the female singer Nel being the first to start it off. "Wow," she ushered, her eyes still wide at what she had just witnessed. "W-what's your name?"

"Kurosaki Ichigo – I'm 18," he replied, trying not to let his eyes linger back to the sexy albino.

"Well, you have a very talented voice," she said, clearly at a loss for words.

The lanky man next to the green-haired singer rolled his eyes, but no-one could mistake that mischievous glint in his eyes as he spoke up. "Do I really need to sell myself from all the chemistry you and Shiro over there were doing?" he winked, making Ichigo blush ever so slightly.

He could just imagine Rukia back stage now, grinning like an idiot but also trying to contain her fit of rage – If he didn't choose Grimmjow he was dead. That made his smile falter. "Well, I'm sure I can change that," Grimmjow husked, winking at the orange-haired boy making the audience hoot.

Shirosaki glared at the blunette before returning his gaze to Ichigo. "That just proves that we'll get along, doesn't it," he laughed, but you could detect the underlying threat in his voice.

Grimmjow clapped the man on the back and chuckled. "You're a guitarist," he stated. "This is the 'voice',"

He had to admit, but even Ichigo winced at that hurtful comment and bet Rukia was nodding her head at this point in agreement. "If ya hadn't noticed he's got a guitar," he replied, anger laced in his voice, his body poised, ready to attack.

"Anyway! I think we're done here," Nel chirped, trying to keep the audience happy who were, thankfully, still oblivious to the situation at hand. "Who will it be?" she asked.

Ichigo looked down at the man under the floorboards who was motioning him to pause and let the audience wait in anticipation. To be honest he was thankful for it. He really wanted to work with Shirosaki but he knew that if he chose him, he'd be on the warpath with both Rukia and by the looks of it Grimmjow as well. He sighed and looked apologetically at Shiro and shrugged his shoulders who returned the gesture with a frown and eyes that pleaded for him not to. Before he could change his mind he looked towards Grimmjow and said, "I'm gonna go with Grimmjow,"

The audience around cheered whilst the other judges tried to stifle their shock. Grimmjow let out a victorious roar before getting out of his seat and giving him a massive bear-hug. "Look forward to working with ya," he grinned.

"Yeah, you too," he smiled politely.

He watched as all the other judges moved in to greet him each speaking a little message – or warning as he called it – in his ear. "I hope ya know what ya doing kid," Nnoitra said, extending a hand to shake it roughly. "I hope ya know Shiro's not gonna back down easily,"

"I'm counting on it," he muttered making the tall man smile at the prospect of decent competition for once.

"Good luck – You'll need it," Nel said, embracing him firmly as she whispered in his ear.

Ichigo didn't reply but smiled back before gulping when he saw Shirosaki move towards him. "Good luck," he smirked.

"Thanks,"

Shiro clamped his arm around him and walked him towards the end of the stage, his warm touch making Ichigo feel dizzy. "Where'd ya learn to play the guitar," he asked, his eyes quickly averting to Grimmjow who was close by as if to say – be careful, we're being listened to.

Ichigo nodded minutely understanding what he meant before answering. "Well, my friend taught me the basics," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Cool," he grinned.

Just as Ichigo was about to go down the passage-way and back to the small secluded room containing Rukia, Shirosaki grabbed him again out of the camera's sight and pressed his lips to Ichigo's ear sending his warm breath all over him. "I'll make ya mine – Ya can count on that,"

He nipped his ear quickly before pulling away, a wide smirk plastered on his lips. Ichigo smirked back, sending a small comment behind as he walked through the closing doors. "I'll hold ya to that,"

_This was such a fucking good idea . . . _


	3. Stay

**Thank you for all the reviews and reads so far – glad this story is so popular. ~Forgot to say last time but thank you to MidnightEden234 for helping me with the idea of Ichigo choosing Grimmjow :) Anyhoo, enjoy!x**

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><p>Shiro clenched his teeth resisting the urge to growl. Today was not his day to say the least. Training had started with the mentors, each getting their contestants to sing to the best of their ability. As part of the contract the judges signed it is unprofessional and illegal to have a relationship with a contestant during the process of the competition. It is also not very professional to treat them as favourites. Now the albino wasn't really one to follow rules and would happily bend them for that delicious looking strawberry if only one small detail wasn't in the way. . . Grimmjow fucking Jeagerjacques. Shiro peeked through the small gap in the rehearsal room that the blunette and berry were currently occupying at the minute and tightened his fist so that his knuckles bulged out. Grimmjow, the king of sex who had a dirty mind when it came to chicks, was flirting with a man! And of course it was none-other than Kurosaki Ichigo. If there was a God up there he was surely screwing with him. Shiro almost drooled at his fit ass sticking out, as the berry leant over the piano, his lithe body showing through his tight clothes. His orange locks were just as unruly as ever, with his usual scowl on place as he looked through some music the blunette was trying to get him to sing. <em>This is what happens when ya choose him instead of me, <em>his mind mused, his face smirking as he watched the berry argue with Grimmjow. It was priceless to see Grimmjow's shocked face at Ichi's tantrum; he was so used to be the dominant one. Maybe that was why he chose Grimmjow – he had some weird revenge he wanted to carry out. But he remembered when Ichigo had chosen Grimmjow, that look of defeat and sadness in his eyes before choosing. _Arg, he's driving me nuts! _ He smirked as Grimmjow threw his hands up in the air in exasperation before turning towards Shiro, no doubt making a move to leave. _Crap, he's coming this way! _Shiro quickly ducked in a shadowed corner and watched as the blunette threw the door open, cursing under his breath with Ichigo's sexy baritone voice shouting after him. "Why'd you turn around then bastard!?"

"Fuck off my back already, ya brat!"

Shiro suppressed his giggle as the blunette slammed the door effectively muffling the rambling from inside and hastily walked away, his face like thunder as he did. _Good luck to the make-up department, _he thought gleefully. As soon as the coast was clear, the albino stepped out of this little hiding place and opened the door, his eyes immediately going to the ass that was turned his way. "Fuck off ya blue-haired freak!" he yelled upon hearing the door close making Shiro chuckle.

"Last time I checked my hair was white, so. . . .,"

Ichigo spun around, his eyes slightly wide; he was clearly trying to think of how to act since last time they met. "Sorry, I thought you were Grimmjow,"

"I gathered. I mean who else has blue hair,"

Ichigo chuckled slightly, and then averted his gaze nervously, his cheeks getting a faint dusting of pink. If only he could ravish the berry right then and there. "What were you two fightin' 'bout?" he asked.

Ichigo looked down at the piece of paper in his hands and handed it to the albino. "He wants me to do songs that I just don't like," he sighed, his lips pouting out ever so slightly.

Shiro looked down at the piece of paper he had just handed him to distract himself from those plum lips just begging for his tongue to slip in between. He looked over the paper and laughed – Grimmjow did like this techno music. "Don't you like this sort of music?" he asked, still not looking at the tempting berry.

"No," he instantly replied. "It doesn't help that I don't really like the artist either,"

Shiro looked up and smiled. "I bet there's one you'll like," he said, winking.

Ichigo watched as the albino trotted over to the piano, his swift fingers typing in something on the laptop resting on the top. He watched as a smirk grew on his face as a soft 'bing' indicated his page had been downloaded. "Come 'ere," he said, patting the spot next to him on the piano stool.

He watched as the berry blushed furiously but complied never the less. "Just go with it," he whispered as his hands began to play, the melody drifting around them gracefully.

Ichigo gulped and looked towards the music displayed on the screen; he never would have imagined singing with Shiro.

_All along it was a fever_

_A cold sweat hot-headed believer_

_I threw my hands in the air and said "Show me something," _

_He said, "If you dare, come a little closer," _

Shiro glanced over at the berry who was now totally in the zone – well, apart from the odd sneaky glances he also took.

_Round and around and around and around we go_

_Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know_

God, he was enjoying this too much. His voice was so sweet back at the audition that he just couldn't help himself when a bloody piano was in the same room as him. Maybe next time he should bring his guitar? Shiro joined in at the chorus, surprising the berry who managed to keep his cool and continue singing.

_Not really sure how to feel about it_

_Something in the way you move_

_Makes me feel like I can't live without you._

_It takes me all the way_

_I want you to stay_

He liked this song – it described his feelings in so many ways. He watched as Ichigo stumbled a bit and removed one hand from the black and white keys and placed it over his lips. He looked at him in confusion before the albino started singing, making the berry smile against his finger.

_It's not much of a life you're living _

Shiro watched Ichigo's smile drop as the song became serious, the tension in the air growing. He was beginning to realise that Shiro had chosen this song for a reason and didn't particularly like it.

_It's not just something you take – it's given_

_Round and around and around and around we go_

_Oh now, tell me now, tell me now you know_

Shiro watched as Ichigo got up and headed towards the door, making the albino panic slightly. Deciding to go acapella, he rushed to the door, his hand closing the small gap that had managed to open making Ichigo face him. He looked at him as if to say why, making Shiro feel nervous for once in his life as he decided to continue.

_Not really sure how to feel about it_

_Something in the way you move_

_Makes me feel like I can't live without you_

_It takes me all the way_

_I want you to stay_

He carefully and slowly placed his hands on either side of his face, bringing his face close to his. Ichigo too placed his hands on either side of Shiro's face as if encouraging him to continue – as if he wanted to find out the reason why.

_Ooh, the reason I hold on_

_Ooh, 'cause I need this hole gone_

_Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving_

'_Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving._

By this point, both their foreheads were resting against each-others and they were sharing hot needy breaths, the tension sky high as they waited for the song to end – both eager for what came next. By this point Ichigo was now joining in as the feelings grew mutual.

_Not really sure how to feel about it_

_Something in the way you move_

_Makes me feel like I can't live without you_

_It takes me all the way_

_I want you to stay, stay. . ._

Shiro finished, staring into chocolate brown orbs his lips inches away from Ichigo's. "I promised I'd make ya mine," he reminded him.

"I remember," he said, drawing him closer.

They were just about to close the gap when the door jostled behind them. "Oi brat! Let me in!"

Ichigo's eyes widened as the door knob rubbed against his back vigorously as Grimmjow tried to get in. _Stupid blue-haired bastard! This would have been my chance! _"Maybe he'll go away," the berry whispered, his arms still wrapped around the albino's neck sharing his disappointment.

"You don't know him like I do; he'll break the door down if I don't hurry,"

"Fine," he whispered back, reluctantly letting go of him.

Shiro swooped down capturing Ichigo's lips, stunning the other into silence before he wound his arms round his neck again. All too quickly the kiss was ended leaving both panting, desperate for more. "I will make ya mine!" he promised again.

Ichigo nodded hastily finally letting go of him so he could leave. Before Shiro left through the back door he turned to the berry, his usual smirk back in place. "See ya later, Ichi,"

He left the room, hearing Grimmjow enter in seconds later automatically questioning about the blush covering his face. _Heehee – Yep. Ya're definitely mine!_

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><p><strong>Okay - Don't forget to review! This was mainly a filler but it does have relevant detail for later on in the story which is why I chose that particular song. Until next time :D <strong>


	4. Mine or mine?

**Here ya go – another chapter and sorry if this one is not so good but next time we should be getting to the really good stuff (I hope) Review! :D**

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><p>Ichigo looked down at his texts for the umpteenth time and sighed loudly causing the blunette next to him to turn and growl. "Shut up!"<p>

"I only sighed," he mumbled, tucking the phone in his pockets, not bothering to read the texts.

At the minute they were both backstage, the make-up department sorting their faces before walking out on stage. The auditions had long finished but the mentors had argued that they wanted a week to get to know their 'students' before going into round 2. For the others, it was pure bliss, trying to get tips or for most of the girls flirting but for Ichigo it was living Hell. Not only was he with a guy he was forced to choose, that guy turned out to be a humongous pain in the ass. It was funny at times because the blunette was so easy to piss off but at the moment he was just a jerk who was acting like a girl on her period. Ichigo sighed again and gave Grimmjow a withering look as he glared before leaning against the wall; the make-up department now off to work on the others leaving the two alone. _Great – fucking fantastic, _he thought as he watched the blunette cross his arms in frustration. "Are you always this moody?" the berry grumbled, fiddling with the guitar strap in his hands.

"No – I'm normally a charm to be around,"

Ichigo snorted – _Of course. _"Why the fuck you like this with me then?" he asked, annoyed that he was the only one on the receiving end of his huge ego.

"Because you annoy the crap outta me!"

"What the hell have I done!"

"You're too fucking stubborn – and I'm normally the one to like the feisty!"

Ichigo chuckled and crossed his arms. Yeah – had he mentioned that the blue –haired jerk had tried to make a pass on him and several times at that? His flirting was way too obvious for Ichigo's liking – the other clearly thinking too much of himself. Sure he had a body like a God but his attitude stunk. Eventually, he had gotten tired of 'subtle' hints and had groped his ass whilst in the middle of rehearsals thinking he wouldn't get shit back because they were in a room full of other people. His black eye minutes later however said otherwise. "Is that seriously why? So what, I'm sure you've got lots of other people to go fuck,"

"That's another thing – ya too mouthy. What happened to the shy kid I saw at the auditions," he almost whimpered.

"That 'shy kid' had first audition nerves so back the hell off!"

"Ya mean ya were shy because it was the first time seeing Shirosaki in person?" he asked, his usual smirk now appearing.

Ichigo blushed slightly, hiding the smile he was now wearing when the albino popped to mind. All week, all Ichigo could remember was that breath-taking but unfortunately quick kiss. It was also just his luck that all of that following week the pair had not seen each-other once; not even in the lobby room where _everybody _hung out. To say he was disappointed was a big understatement especially since the promise he had made again. "What are you suggesting? That I have a crush on Shiro?"

Grimmjow threw his head back and barked, clearly amused at something the berry had said. "Oh it's more than a crush!"

"And how do you know that?"

"Oh a couple of things give it away – one for example is how you just called him Shiro," he grinned, plunging his hands into his pockets.

Ichigo averted his gaze, cursing his face that felt warm and was no doubt a bright red – if the bastard asked he would just blame it on the blusher. Luckily the blunette didn't even have a chance to snigger at the blush that was steadily getting brighter as a guy in black motioned for Grimmjow to help with something. Ichigo drew out a steady and calming breath once he heard the door click close and closed his eyes. "God, I hate him so much," he whined, running a hand through his vibrant locks.

"Don't we all,"

A smile slowly spread on Ichigo's face at the sound of the familiar voice and didn't even bother opening his eyes until hands rested on his hips, drawing small circles with the pad of their thumb. "Missed me?" he smirked, his face inching closer by the second.

"Maybe," he mused, winding his arms around the albino's neck. "Where were you?"

"Grimmjow, that mother fucker, changed ma timetables – I swear he's only doin' it ta get a shot at ya,"

"He already has – several times. Let's just say it didn't end well," he grinned.

"Ah," he laughed, dropping his head down to rest in the crook of the berry's neck. "So ya were the one ta give 'im a black eye?"

"You honestly thought he would get away with nothing?" he replied, idly playing with the white strands that ran over his fingers.

"Nah," he answered, pulling back up to look him in the eyes. "That's ma Ichi,"

Ichigo flushed slightly and pulled him closer, the close proximity killing him as the seconds went by. Sure he had him when they were alone but that was the only commitment he had shown so far - what if he was just using him for his talent. _Oh stop thinking negative Ichigo just enjoy it will it lasts._ "I'm not yours yet remember?"

"Ya will be soon," he grinned mischievously making Ichigo cock his head to the side in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I just got the rules fer the second round in the arena – after ya sing ya get the chance to choose judges again,"

For a second, his heart stopped at those words. _I'll actually be able to be with Shiro? _He thought ignoring the other part of his brain that was reminding him of the consequences. He opened his mouth meaning to say something but closed it quickly when he realised that in fact he didn't know what to say making Shiro laugh. "Cat got ya tongue?"

Ichigo gave a small growl before crashing into him, his body fitting into his perfectly. The albino grinned happily against his mouth and leaned against him, pushing the berry further into the wall as his tongue dominated his mouth. Ichigo moaned in bliss, tugging gently on snowy tresses as his porcelain white fingers slipped beneath his waistband. They both pulled away when the need for oxygen was presented, both panting slightly as lust fogged over their eyes. "Just try ta win," he pleaded.

Ichigo stared into his golden pits and felt his heart clench at the raw passion in his eyes – it was now his mission to win this thing. He leaned forward capturing his lips again for a sweet moment before pulling away and resting his forehead against his. "I think that explains my answer," he whispered huskily.

Shiro grinned at the berry and gave a quick nip to his neck. "Definitely mine,"

"Or mine. . . ,"

Ichigo's eyes widened as a mass of blue entered the room, a psychotic smirk plastering his face. "Hello again . . . _Ichi!" _

_Oh shit. . . ._


	5. Deception

**Hello all! I'm at 700+ reads with this fanfic and it hasn't even got to the good stuff (in my opinon) Thank you to all the silent readers who just support the book and thank you to the guys that review! Let's get back to the story and Grimmy bursting in on them :) **

**BE CAREFUL – THERE IS A SECOND CHAPTER SO DON'T JUST GO THINKING THIS IS A ONE CHAPTER UPDATE – READ THE NEXT AS WELL!**

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><p><em>Shit, shit shit! How long has that blue-haired bastard been there for!? <em>Shiro hissed in his mind as he stared at the wide 'shit-eating' grin Grimmjow wore on his face as he trotted towards them. Ichigo was stood behind the albino frozen to the spot, and mouth wide open as the devil crossed his arms over his chest and pulled out a cigarette calmly. "Told ya, you liked him," he laughed, lighting the end of the cancer stick and bringing it to his mouth.

Shiro's lips curled into a snarl and he stepped forward protectively as Ichigo tried to form a coherent phrase. "W-wh are – T-this i-is . . ."

Grimmjow chuckled at the berry's sudden downfall in confidence and blew out a poof of smoke, the same smirk plastered to his face. "Who said _I _like 'im?" Shiro blurted, choosing to ignore the small flash of anger in those brown orbs as they glanced towards him.

"Shiro," he cooed, "Are you really going to pull that on me?"

"I don't know what ya talkin' 'bout," he replied, a fake grin stuck to his face as he tried to fool the blunette.

"So that wasn't you sucking his face off then, eh?"

Shiro's smug smirk dropped a little at the thought of how long he had been there for and cursed. "So tell me Shiro," he said, flicking the lighter between his hands. "Is he a one-night stand or just a prolonged booty call?"

Ichigo glared at the albino and the blunette, his face flushing in both anger and the way they were talking about their 'relationship' so openly. Although by the end of this he wasn't sure if there was going to be a relationship. Shiro remained on the spot his fists clenched and his mind working overtime as he tried to decide what to do. "Well?" Grimmjow asked. "Is that why you want him on your team - easier access anytime ya like?"

Ichigo flinched and turned to stare daggers into the back of the albino as he gave Grimmjow a look that could kill. If it weren't for him being in the workplace he would have punched the living day lights out off him. "What 'bout the connection we had during his audition?" he asked, folding his arms over his chest.

Grimmjow shrugged his shoulders and leaned against the wall. "Sure there was a stronger connection than the others contestants but that could have just meant ya wanted him more – Who was the one who was sulking beforehand because you didn't get that good-lucking chick Hallibal,"

Shiro growled lowly, warning his past best-friend to be quiet and leave but the blunette apparently wasn't having any of it. The albino watched as Grimmjows eyes darted to behind him, staring at the fuming berry who looked ready to kill; who he did not know. "I'm off – You're welcome to come and get a small rehearsal in before we go on stage," he offered, genuinely seeming to care for a moment.

"I'll be there in a sec," came his almost instant reply making the blunette smirk at the prospect of having his desires come true.

"Alright then – don't be long, _Ichi," _

They both watched as he left chuckling to himself and soon the room fell into the silence as the door slammed shut behind him. Shiro slowly turned around and held his head low, preparing to explain to Ichigo before a hand collided with his face. "W-what-!?"

"Are you serious!" he shouted, his face flushed a bright crimson out of fury. "A prolonged booty call? I thought you were different but maybe serenading people with songs is just a trick you use to get people in your bed!"

"Ya're seriously listenin' ta that jerk!"

"He's the only one that's making sense so yes!" he screamed back, his orange bangs falling in front of his eyes covering the tears that were gathering in the corners.

"Ichi . . .," he whispered, attempting to calm him down.

Shiro watched as his lifted his head, tears now showing before snarling at the man, his finger jabbing into the albino's chest. "Don't you dare call me that!"

Shiro watched in shock, his eyes the size of saucers, as he stormed passed him, the door slammed with so much force the room shook. The albino exhaled loudly and pressed himself into the wall wishing it would just swallow him up. "Shit," he cursed.

Ichigo fiddled with his guitar strap, his teeth biting through his bottom lip at the song they had changed to last minute. He was sure Grimmjow had done it on purpose but for once he was actually grateful – it would sum up his feelings perfectly. The only problem was that he was afraid he would see those gold eyes again and melt and just . . . give in. Ichigo shook his head at his own thoughts and clenched his teeth. He should have known it was too good to be true. Why would a rock star like him, who could attract all the men and woman in the world choose him; he should have known he would only want him for sex! He jumped slightly when a firm hand clamped down on his shoulder but relaxed when he saw it was only Grimmjow. "What do you want?" he asked, not in the mood to deal with anymore shit.

"I'm sorry 'bout having to say that," he whispered, shrugging his shoulders minutely.

"Its fine – It was better to find out sooner rather than later," he admitted.

Grimmjow nodded and gave him an almost reassuring squeeze before walking off, throwing back a comment as he walked off. "We're on in 5 – Good luck,"

Ichigo sighed and stood up before following him into the lights. _I'm so not looking forward to this. . . _


	6. Temporary Bliss?

**Two chapters today because you guys deserve it and it's the actual day (in the Voice program) where the contestants go onto round 2! Enjoy x**

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><p>Ichigo walked onto the stage, bright lights blinding him as he heard his name being called out before the audience erupted into a roar. The second round was the arena and his competition was a girl named Riruka in this round. He wasn't entirely thrilled by the notion of it as she was whiny and would no doubt try and sing over the top of him. Then again he wasn't sure if he wanted to be in this thing anymore – maybe his father was right. He stopped when he got to the centre of the stage and lifted his head, his eyes immediately connecting with golden ones. He had thought that when he looked at Shiro his feelings would get the better of him and he would just give in. But now as the memories came rushing back he couldn't help but tighten his grip on his guitar – he was going to show him just how angry he was. "Let the battle commence," the commentator shouted, giving him the cue to start strumming as the bright lights moved onto him.<p>

He continued strumming as the pink-haired girl began the song, his heart aching to just push her off stage and sing the mash-up himself. Don't get him wrong, she had a good voice, but at the minute this song was personal to him and he wanted to sing it on his own just to see the look in those golden eyes when he sang them.

_Remember when I sang that song to you – and you called it out of tune_

_Remember when I said I loved you – and you said it wasn't true_

_Remember we used to talk for hours – staying up all through the night_

_Remember when I bought you flowers – and you let them out to die_

He brought his head close to the microphone and began joining in, his eyes averting to the crowd as he felt Shiro's gaze pierce him.

_But now that's over _

_Cause I can't keep sleeping in your bed, if you keep messing with my head_

_Before I slip under your sheets, will you give me something please?_

_I can't keep touching you like this, if it's just temporary bliss. _

_Just temporary bliss! _

Ichigo watched as Riruka broke off and motioned for Ichigo to start singing the next verse with a surprisingly happy smile on her face. Earlier on in rehearsals she had been begging Grimmjow not to let him have a solo but who was he to complain now – he was just about to voice his opinion.

_Remember how I used to kiss you – now you can kiss that all goodbye _

_Remember how I used to miss you – now you don't even cross my mind_

_And I can't remember why I ever let you walk all over me_

_I won't take your shit forever – now it's time for me to leave, yeah~_

Ichigo quickly glanced over at Shiro and felt his lips pull up in a smug smirk as he glared at him – clearly what Grimmjow had said was true and now he felt embarrassed for feeling like a fool in front of a crowd.

_But now that's over_

_Cause I can't keep sleeping in your bed, if you keep messing with my head_

_Before I slip under your sheets, will you give me something please?_

_I can't keep touching you like this, if it's just temporary bliss_

_Just temporary bliss~_

_I'm your one and only, only when you're lonely!_

Ichigo chuckled internally at both the words and Riruka who was also smirking at what could only be Shirosaki's stupefied face. Ichigo laughed slightly when he passed the vocals over to her and couldn't help but smile when she pointed to the crowd for the next lines her finger lingering the most on the albino.

_When you cry yourself to sleep tonight_

_You will wish that I was by your side_

_Yes you will! _

_I can't keep touching you like this, if it's just temporary bliss_

_Well, good luck, finding another me_

_. . .Finding another me! _

The pair finished the song, their eyes gleaming and their breath coming out slightly short from the onslaught. Ichigo moved towards Riruka, as the commentator started praising them, and smiled at her. "Thanks for that,"

"Its fine," she replied, her hands on her hips as she faced the judges. "I can tell when a bastard needs putting in place," she smiled, her gaze landing on one spot in the audience and guessed that same person was the one that had broke her heart as well. _Wait - did he break my heart? Was I really in love? _Ichigo refocused his attention when the judges started voicing their opinions and felt his stomach clench when Shiro went first. ". . . I liked it," he simply stated, his eyes never leaving Ichigo's making him glare minutely so the audience wouldn't notice. "Riruka - I like your style, the way you can sing so high but also quite low. Ichigo – I love how you let so much emotion get into your voice,"

Ichigo resisted the urge to roll his eyes and glanced at Riruka who actually did roll her eyes. Clearly he hadn't gotten the point of the song or he did and was trying not to look a fool on national television. Ichigo tuned out after Shiro had said what he needed to say. He could guess that the other judges knew how it was about Shiro but if they knew any better they wouldn't say anything. His attention was drawn again when the commentator turned to Grimmjow who was just about to choose who got to stay. "Well, first off I wanna say that you both did awesome," he smiled, his blue brows waggling mischievously for some ungodly reason. "If I could I'd have ya both but I can only hope the latter will be stolen,"

Riruka looked at Ichigo and also waggled her brows as if to say 'you're gonna be picked' resulting in Ichigo widening his eyes and shaking his head a little. "Grimmjow - who are you going to pick?" the commentator asked.

The pair waited whilst the dramatic silence went on before Grimmjow replied to the question given to him. "The act I'm gonna choose is . . . Ichigo,"

Everyone around applauded as Riruka brought Ichigo forward in a bone-crushing hug whispering in his ear before she parted. "Good Luck – You'll do fine," she winked.

"You too," he replied, smiling at her – they would have to stay in contact.

Ichigo stepped to the side as Riruka stepped forward waiting for someone to steal her or not. He smiled when Nnoitra pressed his button immediately and gave her one last hug before she walked off stage. At least he would have some healthy competition – maybe this time she would be a bit nicer now that they shared something in common. The commentator turned to Ichigo and pulled him over, her hands sweating as she held his hand for 'reassurance'. _Why the hell is she sweating I'm the one choosing! _"So . . . You can either stay with your chosen judge and continue the competition . . . Or you can decide to go to drop and see if anyone will take you."

Ichigo glanced at Shiro who was silently pleading him with his eyes to say drop making his heart clench. He wasn't sure if the look was real of if he was acting and some part of his brain was telling him to go for it. "What's your decision?"

Ichigo bit his lip, this time the dramatic pause because he didn't know what to do rather than because the man under the stage was motioning for him to let the audience hang. Ichigo sighed and quickly blurted the first thing that came to mind. "I'm . . . staying,"

He watched as the audience cheered, the judges stood stunned and Shiro froze in his seat, his eyes a mix of fury and sorrow making the berry's mind buzz. _This better be the right decision. _


	7. Saint or Sinnner?

**Hello everyone! Thank you for all the reads and review so far! I have over a thousand reads on this story so thank you! Looking ahead at the story line I need your opinion – Should I put in a lemon or not? Please give me your answers and enjoy! **

Ichigo gazed at the snowy albino from across the room and sighed for the umpteenth time. He looked like a lovesick fool from the way his chocolate orbs would never leave him, and the way he rested his chin in his hand as if contemplating when to get him alone like another fan girl. Grimmjow's team had gone last week for the 'arena' round so being in here was pointless; just a form of torture. Obviously, it was now Shiro's turn to let his team practice yet for some reason the room had been double booked by Grimmjow. Initially, he had thought that Grimmjow had just made a mistake. Those kind words that were spoken to him after the fight and before his betrayal made him think that maybe the blunette had a different side to him. That was partially the reason why he had decided to stay on his team but as it turned out it was just an act. He was now an even bigger jerk after that and Ichigo was sure the blue-haired bastard had double booked on purpose just to parade him around.

He averted his gaze when golden eyes flicked to him and fidgeted nervously in his seat, feeling those eyes piercing into the back of his skull. He bit on his lip waiting for the feeling to disappear and looked up at Grimmjow, who was scowling at him, his blue brows pulled up in an irritated frown. "Finished?"

"Finished what?" he replied, confusion heavy on his face.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes frustration and growled slightly, his ramblings getting louder as he pretended to examine score sheets. Ichigo shrugged his shoulders and glanced back smiling when he saw the albino shouting angrily at his contestants, his temper getting the better of him. All of a sudden, he heard a loud "fuck it!" and inclined his head back to see Grimmjow slamming the sheets down onto the piano, creating a massive thud before storming out of the rehearsal room. Ichigo gave a fleeting look at Shiro who was now staring at him oddly. The berry jumped out of his seat and rushed to find the temperamental blunette, his body just burning to be away from those piercing eyes. He was walking too quickly and thinking too hard about the whole situation that he didn't see muscular arms coming around to grip him until they were lifting him off the floor resulting in an unmanly squeal. He gave a slight 'oof' as he was thrust into a small room, his back hitting the wall on the other side of the door. "What the!?"

Ichigo shook his head slightly as if to shake away the daze and looked up at his captor who now had their strong corded arms on either side of his head, effectively pinning him in place. His eyes widened when they landed on a tangled mass of blue and glared at him, his hands bunching up to form fists. "What the hell do you think you're doing Grimmjow?"

Grimmjows azure eyes glowered at the man below, his blue hair a mess due to the amount of times he had run his hand through it. "What is it about him that you like so much?"

"About who, what are y-,"

"Is it the sex? Because trust me, one night with me and you'll forget anything that bastard ever did to you!"  
>Realisation dawned on him, and a faint dusting of pink settled on his cheeks at the prospect of even going that far. No they had never done it – he was too mature to go that far with a rock star! "What does it matter to you anyway!"<p>

"So you haven't done it? So why you eyeing him up every goddamn second!" he roared, his face inches away from Ichigo's.

"If you don't like it than maybe you shouldn't have double booked hoping for him to feel jealous!" he shouted back, his fists aching to pound into his arrogant face.

Without warning, strong hands gripped his wrists and pulled them up so he was now defenceless. Grimmjow leaned into his body, his mouth pressed up against his ear as he spoke low and threatening words. "You are mine,"

Ichigo clenched his eyes shut trying not to let out a whimper as the blunette bit down harshly onto the top of his ear; pain spiking through the whole of his body. Before he could comprehend anything else, warm lips crashed down on his own, Grimmjows wet muscle instantly breaking past his seam and slipping into the dark cavern. He balled his hands up that were still being restrained and bit down on the blunette's tongue only to his dismay causing the man to smirk into the fierce kiss. He didn't like it. The kiss was harsh and desperate – no emotion behind it. He could do nothing but compare it to Shiro's and as soon as the albino came to mind tears sprung to his eyes. Grimmjow pulled away and lapped greedily at the small cut on the berry's lip which Ichigo didn't even realise he had sustained. "You are mine," he whispered again possessively.

Ichigo gasped when fingers slipped beneath his waistband tracing small circles on his pelvis at an attempt to relax him. More like make him surrender. He turned his head away, the force of it hitting the wall creating a slight bruise on the side of his head. His eyes grew to the size of saucers when a hand slipped past the band of his boxers and tried to squirm away, the movement proving successful until a firm hand wrapped their fingers around his base tightly causing him to let out a hoarse cry. Grimmjow covered the cry with his lips, muffling the sound as to not alert anyone and began pumping the member; his thigh rubbing against Ichigo's mid-shaft so he could feel the hard bulge. Tears finally sprung from his eyes at the thought of being raped in such a way, in such a place and over such a petty matter. His bit his tongue trying to stop the sobs coming out and the blunette's eyes looked down upon him greedily making him squirm under his gaze.

Abruptly, the pain in his lower region halted and his opened his eyes to see Grimmjow moving away, Ichigo's hands now falling limply to his sides as the grip on his wrists was released. He exhaled shakily in relief and looked up to see what had made him stop only to freeze when a pair of golden eyes landed on him. "Shiro," he breathed, his hands immediately pulling down his sleeves so the growing purple blotches wouldn't be seen.

Shiro caught the movement and the short sight of painful bruises and glared ferociously at Grimmjow who was now retreating from the room. The albino didn't miss the hard bulge in his pants either and growled lowly just as the door shut behind them before looking down at Ichigo. Ichigo turned away, blinking furiously to get the tears to stop but it was to no avail. "Ichi?" he whispered, slowly edging his way towards the hurt berry. "What did he do?" he asked.

"Why should I tell you?" he shot back, glaring at the man as if it was his entire fault – he knew it wasn't though.

It was just the shock and fury left behind from the previous event. "Because. . . .because I care about you," he answered, holding his wrist in his hands only to feel rage spike through his nerves when he twitched in pain.

Ichigo reeled back, the hope that he was going to say something else now gone. He slapped his hand away and stepped away from his intoxicating heat. "Why?"

Shiro stared at Ichigo, puzzled by the question and felt his heart clench when the berry lifted his head to reveal a waterfall of tears, streaming down his face. "Why do you feel so little when I still feel so much towards you!" he screamed.

Shiro froze at the sentence and replayed the previous minutes back in his head, trying to make sense of where he went wrong and swallowed heavily. "Ichi - I do lo-,"

"Don't say it!" he shouted, his hands clapping over his ears, rejecting him completely. "Don't say stuff you don't mean,"

Shiro reached forward, trying to comfort him and make him understand in some way that he did still love him. In fact he had never stopped loving him. Ichigo refused to listen and stared helplessly at the man in front of him; his heart slowly breaking from the pressure and heartbreak. "Why did I have to fall for you," he whimpered, before dashing past him and running out of the room.

He didn't look back for fear that he would run the other way and into his arms. Instead he ran straight ahead, hoping that denial would help him through the next few couple of weeks. But all he could think about was Shiro's pleading eyes and Grimmjow's roaming hands. He couldn't help but thing that the line of truth and lie was now completely blurred – He could no longer tell Saint from Sinner. . . .


	8. Bonfire heart

**Hello everybody! Sorry about the poor quality of my last one and I am sorry in advance for this shitty chapter – It's not exactly going the way I planned it to :/ Anyway, please review and give me your thoughts!**

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><p>Shiro walked down the long, white hallway, his hands thrust deep in his pockets with his head hung low. He had messed up. He knew he shouldn't have said 'cared' over 'love'. He was just scared at both the prospect of such a commitment and the haunted look in Ichigo's eyes. Shiro wanted to say his love properly, in a romantic kind of way even if he was not used to soppy things; not after Ichigo had just been close to rape! The albino clenched his teeth and balled up his hands into fists at the sheer thought of what that bastard did. The blunette must have got to some extent because of the zipper that was undone on Ichigo's pants – he just counted his lucky stars that it didn't go further than that!<p>

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose avoiding the many wires that were littered down this particular hall. Those eyes; he couldn't get them out of his head. The way they pleaded him to say something else, to hold him and to save him was so intense. His gaze normally had the albino drowning in desire but this time it was suffocating him. It was needless to say that at that point his heart was being shattered in a thousand tiny pieces especially when he saw that cascade of tears. His despairing train of thoughts halted abruptly when he saw Grimmjow walking towards him, unaware that the albino was coming his way. Like a brittle twig being snapped, his patience and anger ran out and he charged towards the unsuspecting blunette grabbing him roughly by the collar of his shirt when he reached him. "What ta fuck did ya do ta him!?" he shouted, throwing him against the wall with a deep thud.

Grimmjow recovered from his confusion and stared at the raging albino, a smirk gracing his lips. "What does it matter to ya?"

Shiro growled lowly and hit him hard against the wall, hearing the crack when the blunette's head connected with the wall. He wasn't always one for violence but when he was it was near enough to psychotic murderer strength. Grimmjow grabbed the other wrists that were holding him up against the wall and tightened his grip as Shiro began cutting off his oxygen supply. "What did ya do?" he repeated, his lips pulled back in a snarl as he watched the blunette struggle for air.

"Shiro!"

Shiro dropped his hand on hearing his favourite honey coated voice and turned to see Ichigo standing at the side, his eyes wide in fear at what Shiro was about to do. Great – now he had scared him. Ichigo moved towards him almost as if to comfort him but thought better of it and stayed rooted to the spot. Shiro tore his gaze away from the berry's intense stare and looked to Grimmjow who was heaving for breath, his hand clutching around his corded neck which was slowly turning purple. _Heh – I hope it stays like that fer a long time! _They all stayed in silence for what seemed forever, listening to nothing but Grimmjow's gasping breaths and Shiro's agitated growls before Grimmjow spoke up. "C'mon Ichi, we're leaving,"

Ichigo jumped at the tiny sound Grimmjow made making Shiro's blood boil as he watched Ichigo timidly step towards the blunette; that and the fact he had called him 'Ichi'. Grimmjow didn't even bat an eyelid as he grabbed him by the waist and started leading him away, the only thing but a feral grin on his face. He wouldn't try anything with him again anytime soon but he would still enjoy torturing the albino with small things. Shiro watched as the two made their way towards the rehearsal rooms, Ichigo face on of disgust as he tried to squirm away from Grimmjow's touch. Shiro smiled to himself, and turned to his dressing room the lyrics already swimming in his head. He would win the berry over and make sure that, that foul headed beast never touched him again – And he would start by ending things tonight.

Ichigo stared down at the stage from where he was seated in the audience and ran a hand through his hair. He had already been through the arena process so there was nothing really left to but watch the last group go which coincidentally had to be Shiro's group. At the beginning of every arena round the group mentor had sung a song – and right not Ichigo was patiently waiting for Shiro to come on stage and sing. He had purposely sat at the back where he was sure those golden eyes wouldn't see him. It's not that he didn't want to see him it was just he had a feeling in his gut that the song would be related to him and he wasn't sure if he was prepared to hear it. He was already feeling guilty enough as it was but he had promised himself he would not run back into his arms. It would just end in more heartbreak again if he did. He looked towards the stage once he heard the audience around him cheer and whistle and felt his breath catch in his throat when he saw Shiro. He was still as breath-taking as ever. He felt himself smile when the albino immediately dived in, his fingers plucking on the strings before his melodic voice sang over the crowd.

_Ya mouth is a revolver, firing bullets in the sky_

_Ya love is like a soldier, loyal 'till ya die_

_And I've been lookin' at ta stars fer a long, long time_

_I've been puttin' out fires all my life. . . _

Ichigo grimaced slightly at the mention of putting fires out – He bet it meant putting out people's hopes and crushing their hearts. He couldn't help but feel his heart ache though when he heard the pain in the albino's voice when he sang that line.

_Everybody wants a flame – _

_They don't want to get burnt_

_And today is our turn_

_Too right _Ichigo thought. _You were too hot and bright for me _he added, resting his chin on his hand.

_Days like these lead ta. . . _

_Nights like this lead ta. . . _

_Love like ours!_

_Ya light ta spark in my bonfire heart_

_People like us – we don't. . . _

_Need that much – just someone that starts_

_Starts ta spark in our bonfire hearts. . . _

Ichigo lifted his head, feeling his heart swell in his chest as Shiro looked up at him; golden eyes seeing right through to his soul. Suddenly, all that was in the room was himself and Shiro and the simple words that floated around them.

_This world is getting colder_

_Stranger passing by~_

_No-one offers ya a shoulder, _

_No-one looks ya in the eye_

Ichigo couldn't help but smile when the albino mouthed but me into his microphone, the soft words sending a chill through his spine.

_But I've been looking at ya, fer a long, long time_

_Just tryin' ta break through _

_Tryin' ta make ya mine_

_Everybody wants a flame_

_They don't want ta get burnt_

_Well today is our turn_

The room seemed to come alive as Shiro belted out the last chorus, his eyes now clenched shut as he tried to get his point across – the raw emotions gritting the back of his throat. Everyone around was cheering and hooting, all shouting to know who he was singing to. The judges smiled knowingly at the connection between the two, apart from Grimmjow who was trying not to curse on camera. Ichigo felt the fire re-light in his stomach and was no longer afraid of him; when he was Shiro he could do anything. He joined in with everyone else and got up from his seat to clap along, laughing when Shiro's grin turned feral on seeing Ichigo and his resolve.

_Days like these lead ta. . . _

_Nights like this lead ta. . . _

_Love like ours!_

_Ya light ta spark in my bonfire heart_

_People like us – we don't. . . _

_Need that much – just someone that starts_

_Starts ta spark in our bonfire hearts. . . _

_Our bonfire hearts~_

Everyone applauded as Shiro took his bows, waving thanks to everyone, his eyes lingering on Ichigo's the longest. Ichigo sat down again as Shiro resumed his usual seat effectively having his back to him and sighed. He wanted to go to Shiro. To wrap his arms around his neck and kiss those perfect lips, muttering over and over that he was sorry; that he shouldn't have trusted Grimmjow anyway. . . But there were still several hours to go before he could do so. He leaned back in his chair and exhaled loudly again as contestants started pouring on stage.

_Patience. . . After this I'll go see him and everything will be alright. I hope._

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><p><strong>Thank you everyone who is still reading is and please review :D If you want to know the songs I use than just ask in the review section and I will answer! <strong>


	9. Stop!

**I know what you are all wondering – 'Why am I uploading twice in one week?' Well, the voice is on a double bill this weekend so I thought I would do the same :D Enjoy! (Muhahah!) **

Ichigo gritted his teeth as he weaved through the crowds that were blocking his way, preventing him from seeing Shiro. It had taken all his will power not to leap over and hug that brilliant romantic when he had sung that song and now look where it got him; stuck behind hundreds of screaming fans. You'd think that because he's a contestant that he would be able to get out first but no. So here he was trying to get to the backstage area where he would get over his stubborn personality and apologise to Shiro. Just thinking about being able to kiss those perfect lips again had his stomach forming butterflies. "Ichigo!" a shrill voice rang out across the bustling audience.

_Oh god, please not her; not now! _The berry was just about to duck under for cover when a small thing charged into him knocking the air out of him. "Ichigo! Where were you, you baka!"

"R-rukia! Can't. . .breathe!," he exclaimed, unwrapping the petite woman's arms from around him. "I'm sorry – I've kinda been a bit busy,"

Rukia placed her hands on her hips and pouted before a twinkle in her eyes shone. "Do you mean as in busy with Grimmjow?"

Ichigo shook his head, his eyes going impossibly wide at the prospect and shuddered, the memories of the other day still freshly implanted in his brain. "No Rukia – Not with Grimmjow,"

The twinkle in Rukia's eyes dimmed slightly and she went back to pouting, her arms now folded across her chest. "That song by Shirosaki was cool wasn't it?" she asked casually, noting the small spark in Ichigo when she mentioned the albino's name.

"Yeah – Shiro's song was quite cool," he said, blushing slightly.

"Shiro? How interesting," she mused to herself.

Ichigo's eyes enlarged and cussed at himself for being so stupid. "Yeah – all the mentors and contestants are on first name basis," he said sheepishly.

"Uh-huh," she said, not convinced at all – Ichigo never was a good liar.

"Anyway got to go,"

"Oi, Ichigo! Where are you going!?" she shouted after the berry who was now slipping towards the backstage door.

"I, uh, have to talk to Grimmjow about something," he called over his shoulder before closing the door behind him and leaving behind a highly suspicious Rukia.

Ichigo slumped against the door as soon as he closed it and exhaled noisily - _God that was a close one! _He ran a shaky hand through his hair before sprinting down the hall, looking for the door that read 'Shirosaki'. It didn't take him long to find it. He stepped in front of the door, his hand hovering over the door handle as he took a few calming breaths. He was just about to open the door when he heard shouting from inside the room. He pressed his ear to the door trying to pinpoint what was happening and inhaled sharply when he heard both Shiro's and Grimmjow's voice booming. "Stop interfering!" Grimmjow's loud growl sounded from the other side of the door.

"Why!? Ya just want ta get 'im in ya bed!" Shiro argued back, venom laced in his voice.

"Why do ya care? Ya want the same thing!"

"I love 'im!" he blurted.

Ichigo's breath hitched in his throat at those three words and felt his heart doing somersaults at the confession before he heard a snort from Grimmjow making him glare. "Che – love? You're delusional,"

"Ya know more than anyone from ta way that I've been actin' that it's more than just a fling!"

"Who wouldn't go nuts over that body? – Mm,"

"Don't ya dare talk about 'im that way," he growled.

"I can if I want – I was the one who managed to touch him first,"

Ichigo felt himself want to throw up at the very thought, his throat going dry when he heard Shiro's warning growl – Grimmjow however continued. "Wanna know how big he is?"

All Ichigo heard next was a loud snarl from Shiro and then skin heating skin in brutal thuds and deafening cracks. Ichigo threw open the door, freezing to the spot when he saw blood covering the two as they were locked in a rapid and violent fist fight. Shiro was clearly winning but it was because of that, that Ichigo was scared; he was quite capable of killing him! His legs moved of their own accord as he ran towards the fighting pair, his mind a blur. "Stop!" he shouted.

Neither looked towards him and continued punching each other. He could tell that they heard him though however because of the way Shiro's golden eyes widened and the feral grin that now grew on the blunette's way. Ichigo moved forward meaning to at least pull them apart but before he knew it Grimmjow had diverted his attention and punched him in the gut making him double over. Ichigo didn't even have time to cuss at the blunette and his strong blow before his thick arms were wrapped around his waist and neck. Shiro froze, his eyes never leaving Grimmjows as he tried to anticipate what he would do next. Ichigo struggled in his grip trying to get away but it only resulted in him tightening his grip effectively cutting off his oxygen. Ichigo clawed at his hand, his mind crumbling under Shiro gaze – he shouldn't have come here. Shiro made a move to try and grab Ichigo but Grimmjow simply moved aside and pulled tighter on the neck in his arm. "Not a good idea," he tsked. "If ya try anything funny, his neck might just go 'crack'," he threatened, stopping Shiro in his tracks, who dropped his fists to his side. "Now – Do you promise to be reasonable?" he asked Ichigo.

Ichigo desperately nodded his head, drinking in big gulps of air when the pressure was released off his neck. He was too busy trying not to cough and splutter that he didn't realise the hand slipping past his waistline until it was buried underneath his boxers making him cry out slightly. "So – D'ya wanna know how big he is?" he laughed manically, his hand rummaging around making Ichigo squirm in his grasp.

"Let him go!" Shiro barked; panic edging its way into his voice.

"Hmm?" Grimmjow pretended to ponder. "Nah – don't think I will," he replied, now nipping at the berry's neck.

Ichigo clenched his eyes shut trying to prevent the tears that were stinging his eyes. _I can't believe this is happening! _he thought. He re-opened his eyes and looked over to Shiro who was torn between anger and anguish. Suddenly, an idea flashed through the albino's head and he looked Ichigo in the eye before mouthing 'duck'. As quickly as he could in his compromising position, he pulled his neck away from Grimmjow's mouth and watched as Shiro's snowy hand brushed past his cheek before landing in Grimmjow's face. Without a second thought, Ichigo kicked his leg back, hitting him in the chin making the blunette loosen his grip on his waist and neck. Ichigo quickly darted past Shiro who moved forward and struck a final blow making Grimmjow fall to the floor unconscious in a bloody heap. Ichigo stared at Grimmjow's lifeless body, feeling his legs turn to jelly before warm arms embraced him. "I'm so sorry," Shiro whispered.

Ichigo clung onto him, burying his head in his neck and drinking in his familiar scent. They stayed there for some time before Shiro pulled back taking Ichigo's face in his hands and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. "We need to get you out of here," he stated, grabbing his hand and leading him out of the room.

Ichigo stumbled past Grimmjow's body and looked up at Shiro who was now dragging him away. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"I'm taking you to my place,"

"Why?"

Shiro halted in his tracks and sighed, turning to face Ichigo the fear in his eyes all too clear. "He's not going to stop until he gets you," he declared. "Even if that means killing. . .,"

_Shit. . . _

**Well. . . Hope you enjoyed. Please review! **

**Now I don't really know if you guys read these notes so if you make a review and have read these put a random fruit at the beginning of your review so I know you've been reading these notes ;) Also – next one may or may not have a lemon so please give me your opinions quickly! **


	10. AUTHORS NOTE!

**AUTHORS NOTE: PLEASE READ FOR THE SAKE OF FUTURE CHAPTERS**

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><p><strong>I need your help guys! The weekend is coming up fast which means an update but I need to know whether you want a LEMON in it or not! I'm currently typing it up and need your opinions – this will shape the entire book! <strong>

**Please review or send me your messages via PM so I know what you want! **

**p.s Sorry this was not an update but this really was urgent :( :3 **

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><p><strong>AUTHORS NOTE - 22nd SATURDAY<strong>

**:( Sorry guys for the late update. As you can see I will note be updating tonight so this is an apology! I should be posting the new chapter tomorrow bu t in advance sorry for the crappy quality! I really hate this chapter and it is a nightmare writing it. . . .Till Tomorrow! **


	11. I'll wait

**Hi guys! Thank you for all the messages and reviews about the lemon (well. . . one review) Hope you enjoy this! My muse is a hormonal bitch so it's fluctuates between good and bad in this and sorry for the late update!**

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><p>My head was pounding; my heart beating in my ears. My hands were slippery with sweat as he led me through the back corridors, trying to avoid the many cameras and body guards. I was shaking. Violently as well despite the fairly warm temperature that surrounded us. I was scared. He knew it and I knew it. <em>Kill; <em>that was all that was ringing in my head. I didn't really register Shiro's warm voice calling me, or the worried look in his eyes as my mind wandered back to the lifeless mass of blue back in his dressing room. Would he really kill us? Whatever happened now, I just knew that there was no turning back.

Shiro ducked behind a large wall, pulling Ichigo down with him, blocking them from the vision of others. "Why are we hiding?" he asked, regaining his voice.

"We're not allowed to be seen together – various reasons," he replied, still grasping his hand tightly.

Ichigo nodded before he was dragged along again, the cool breeze hitting him as they entered the outside. It was already dark outside, the moon and stars the only light around, illuminating their path. Shiro kept his head down as they both moved across the car park, in search for the albino's shiny, black BMW. It took all of Shiro's restraint not to go back and finish the blunette, his lips curling into a snarl when he thought of the bastard and what he did just moments ago.

Ichigo was still in a daze, both at what had happened and what he had told him. The fire in his eyes had dulled now, glossing over his amber orbs; confusion and fear clouding them. It ached Shiro's heart to see him like this and felt helpless that there was nothing he could do. He pushed his feelings aside on seeing his flashy car and preoccupied his mind with getting Ichigo to safety. "Get in," he said lowly, opening the driver's door and situating his self in the bouncy leather seats – Ichigo joining a few seconds later.

The albino didn't waste any time in turning the ignition on and pulling out, ignoring the silhouette in his rear-view mirror before speeding off into the night. He hadn't realised that he was gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white or that he was driving at 80mph, until Ichigo rested his hand on top of his forcing the albino to relax slightly. Shiro took his hand off the steering wheel and grasped Ichigo's hand, moving his thumb in slow, soothing circles. Both men visibly sank into the firm seats, their tension slowly drifting the further they got from the studio. Silence filled the small vehicle but as Shiro noticed it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. He glanced over at the berry and grinned when he saw the twinkle in his eyes return slowly as well as the small smile which was now replacing his usual scowl. He fixed his golden eyes back onto the road, dreading what was to come. He'd known Grimmjow for over 6 years and still he surprised him; more like shocked actually. The albino knew he had a bit of an aggressive side and occasionally sparred him to get his frustration out. In fact over the past year he had been fairly joyful! But this Grimmjow that molested and attacked people. . . Shiro didn't like. Shiro wasn't sure what would happen from here on. Would he tell someone? Would he threaten them in some way? Would he simply get to the point and kill him? Shiro sighed, erasing the questions from his memory for now and looked over at Ichigo again. At the minute he was the top priority so he had to get a grip!

It didn't take long to get to the apartment mainly due to the fact that he had continued driving at 60mph. "This is where you live?" Ichigo asked his nose wrinkled slightly.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing, it's just . . . so normal?"

"Not all of us live in mansions, Ichi," he snorted, pushing the key in and opening the door.

"Whatever," he scoffed, entering the house. "Excuse the intrusion,"

Shiro rolled his eyes at such formality and led the berry straight to the kitchen. Ichigo examined his surroundings whilst Shiro rustled through the cabinets trying to find them something to eat. Shiro turned around to find Ichigo staring at a photo of himself and Grimmjow and grimaced slightly. "I'll put that in ta bin,"

Ichigo broke his gaze and stared at Shiro; that haunted look now pushing its way back into his eyes. Shiro grabbed the frame out of his hands and replaced it with a packet of crisps before moving round to the bin. He looked at the picture of him and Grimmjow back when they were in collage, a difficult time in his life, and threw it down, the glass smashing as it hit the bottom. Ichigo flinched at the harsh sound causing Shiro's eyes to soften. "Come 'ere," he whispered.

Ichigo hesitantly walked over to Shiro who grabbed his hands with one of his snowy limbs, the other going to caress his face. "Are ya hurt?"

Ichigo shook his head and placed his hand on a cut just below his eye. "You are though,"

"I'm fine," he argued quietly.

Ichigo rolled his eyes, and moved around his body searching for some sort medical equipment. Knowing that Ichigo wasn't going to let up he sighed and pointed to the cabinet he kept the medic box in and sat down. "Don't be such a grump – it won't need stitches," he said, immediately going to disinfect the wound.

Shiro winced slightly as the alcohol seeped into his open wound and gazed up at Ichigo's focused amber eyes. "I'm sorry this happened ya know," he started.

"Don't be," he cut him off, pausing to look into his molten orbs. "You didn't know he was like that,"

"Ya could ave been hurt!" he argued, his anger returning with each passing moment. "I should 'ave stopped 'im!"

Ichigo placed a plaster onto the bleeding cut and moved his hands so they were on either side of white cheeks. "I could have but you stopped him,"

"No, I didn't,"

He yanked up the others top revealing a large, purple splotch splayed over his lower stomach and then traced the bite marks that he had received on his neck. "Ya such a liar," he murmured, staring intently at the large bruise.

An intense silence settled over them for a few seconds, nothing but their rapid beating hearts settling in the silence. The tension was rising as Ichigo threaded his hands in snowy locks, and pale hands held on to a tanned waist. It was Ichigo who eventually broke the silence. "Do you want to know?" he asked.

Shiro averted his gaze from the abrasion and looked up at darkened orbs; a faint pink dusting his cheeks. The albino licked his lips before daring to ask what he meant. "Know what?"

Ichigo shyly leant down and kissed his neck, placing himself down on the albino's lap before whispering in his ear. "How big I am. . . ,"

All of Shiro's restraint left him as he pulled the berry hungrily to his lips, teeth crashing angrily in a much needed kiss. He prodded his tongue through the seam in between Ichigo's plump lips and revelled at the delicious moans he was swallowing up. He growled possessively when Ichigo's hands grasped harder onto his hair, pulling the albino closer until there was no gap between the two. Shiro's grip on the berry tightened as he pulled away drinking in big gulps of air. Whilst Ichigo remained panting, Shiro set to work kissing his neck, his fingers slowly pushing past the waistline of his trousers. That's when he felt Ichigo's body tense up, leaving a whimper to escape his lips. Shiro pulled back and glanced at Ichigo, whose eyes were now clenched shut. He placed a chaste kiss to his lips before embracing him. "I can wait,"

Slowly, Ichigo's muscles relaxed; a long exhale leaving his lips before he pecked the albino's cheek. "Thanks Shiro," he mumbled, his head collapsing on his shoulder. Shiro smiled when his breathing evened out and soft snores replaced the silence and pulled him up, intending to head to the bedroom. He turned, the berry still in his arms, when he heard a vibrating sound and turned to find Ichigo's phone lying on the counter and jumping up from an incoming call. Shiro looked at the caller ID and sighed. He would have to get Ichigo to ring back in the morning to explain where he was and what happened. Shiro placed the phone back down and walked up the stairs, a sleeping berry clinging onto him. _Yeah . . . his father will 'ave ta wait till tomorrow._

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><p><strong>I hate this. . . but that's up to you guys! Please review and tell me what you guys think! Sorry again that it was late<strong>


	12. Heaven vs Hell

**Hello again! Time for the next update ;) Hopefully this will be better than the last so enjoy! Thank you for all the reads and review so far - REVIEW!**

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><p>Ichigo woke up to a blinding light piercing his eyes and turned to confirm that it was the morning sun coming through the half-closed curtains. His eyes scrunched slightly at both the light and in confusion as he tried to push past his sleepy haze and figure out where he was. He looked at the thick velvet curtains letting his eyes adjust to new light, and turned his head so he was staring at the ceiling. <em>Was I drinking? <em>he thought although dismissed the idea when he found that he didn't feel like throwing up nor did he have a splitting headache. He stared up at the small, and faintly damp ridden ceiling and rolled over before an object stopped him from doing so; well rather a person. Ichigo's eyes widened considerably as he gazed upon the soft, white figure that lay next to him and wondered if he would hyperventilate. _What the fuck is he doing in my bed – wait . . . what am I doing in his bed!? _Memories came flooding back causing a blush to crawl onto his face. His blush deepened when he thought of that embarrassing line he had used twisting a serious matter into one of lust. He had wanted him badly despite what he body was thinking when those cool fingers slipped under the waistband of his jeans. He growled at himself in embarrassment and shame and glared into space when Grimmjow came to mind. This was supposed to be a simple competition and now look what happened. _I'm sleeping with the 'enemy' and my mentor wants to rape and kill me. . . _Ichigo banished his grim feelings when the albino snuggled closer to him and wrapped his arms around his waist. Ichigo smiled and curled against him, deciding to go back to sleep again but not before placing a soft kiss on the albino's lips. Before he could close his eyes, gold ones opened to stare back at him, a smirk tugging at his lips. "Mornin' Ichi," he whispered, his voice husky from either sleep of morning lust; not that it mattered – it sounder sexy either way.

"Morning," he whispered back, wrapping his arms around his neck drawing him closer for an embrace.

Ichigo felt Shiro's smile against his skin as he rested his head in the hollow of his neck breathing in his familiar scent. He felt the top of his hair ruffle slightly as Shiro placed a small kiss on the top of his head before spooning him, his eyes already closing again. Ichigo sighed in content before a distant ringing, namely his phone, began sounding breaking through their blissful silence. "I'll get that," he exhaled despite not knowing where the small device was and made a move to get up before arms pulled him back down.

"What are you doing?" he chuckled, as Shiro began nuzzling his neck.

"Leave it,"

"I need to tell my Dad where I am," he replied, although staying in bed with him did seem like a better idea.

"Ya can call 'im in a bit – stay with me," he mumbled shifting so that Ichigo was now underneath the albino stopping him from going anywhere.

He moaned quietly as Shiro began nuzzling his neck again and tangled his hands gently into snowy locks and angling his head to give the albino more access. Shiro let his hands wander under the duvet until they reached slim hips and massaged them slowly, his teeth now nibbling and sucking patches of skin leaving dark marks. Ichigo lifted his head and brought his mouth to his lips, the kiss instantly becoming deeper as Shiro plunged his tongue in making the berry moan again. Somewhere, the phone rang again but this time they ignored it, letting the shrill rings accompany their moans and occasional pants. Ichigo knew that Shiro would stick to his word but it didn't mean that he could enjoy a good make-out. He broke the kiss when he heard that the phone had ceased ringing, and gulped in air, staring at those golden orbs. Shiro got the message and pecked his lips before pulling him up. "C'mon – bet ya hungry,"

Just as he said that Ichigo's stomach growled making the berry blush and causing Shiro to laugh. "C'mon,"

"Ah! That was good – I never knew you could cook!" Ichigo exclaimed as he placed his fork down and sighed in content at finishing his large plate of food.

"Glad ya liked it," he chuckled, sipping his cup of coffee.

Ichigo smiled at him and placed his chin in his hands, memories of last night crashing down on him forcing the smile down. "What is it?" Shiro asked his eyes filled with concern.

"What are we going to do about Grimmjow?" he asked.

"He won't say anythin' if that's what ya mean – he's too proud fer that. And he won't try anythin' in public but make sure ya never alone with 'im," he presaged.

"Agreed," he nodded, grimacing at the last time he was alone with him causing him to shudder.

Shiro eyed the berry worriedly and clasped his hand in his trying to determine what he was thinking about. "Same goes for you," he mumbled, his head shooting up to look him in the eye. "Don't go confronting him," he warned.

"I can look out fer myself," he argued.

"You said he was capable of killing," he muttered, the fear in his eyes palpable.

"It won't come ta that,"

Ichigo didn't say anything more as the phone rang again making him groan. "What is wrong with that twat? He's never this worried," he rambled to himself, leaving the phone to go to voicemail again.

"Ya mean he doesn't normally worry?"

"Actually no – the only time he called like this was when . . . doesn't matter,"

Shiro noticed the sorrow in the other's eyes but didn't pursue the topic any further. Ichigo grabbed his mobile and began to scroll through the missed texts both from Rukia and his Dad. He opened up the first message from Rukia and froze when he read the simple two words. _I'm sorry._ "Ichi? What's wrong?"

Ichigo ignored Shiro and pressed the mobile to his ear listening to the voicemails that had been left behind but only needed to listen to one to confirm everything. "_Get here now . . .," _a voice on the other end threatened lowly making Ichigo tremble from head to foot.

Shiro didn't have time to ask before Ichigo was out of his chair and grabbing his coat. "I need to go,"

"I'm coming with ya,"

"I really don't think that will help," he said, the fear making his voice waver.

"I'm goin'. I'll stay outside if ya want me ta,"

Ichigo paused for a second before nodding his head, his head instantly dropping on Shiro's shoulder when he gathered him in his arms. "Sorry," he mumbled against his chest.

"Fer what?"

". . . .For landing with a pompous ass like me," he mumbled, clearly wanting to say something other than _that. _

Shiro placed a chaste kiss on his lips before leading him to the car. With a few directions, it didn't take long to get to his house and when they arrived Ichigo knew that Shiro regretted driving him here without knowing the story. "I'll be fine," he reassured him, despite his violent tremors.

Shiro grimaced but agreed knowing that Ichigo wasn't going to stay longer than necessary. "I'll be here when ya done," he reminded him.

Ichigo nodded before climbing out of the car and heading towards the front door. He knew what to expect – it had been happening for years. Maybe it was because this time it might involve someone he loved that was scaring him. He opened the door and as expected his father was standing a little further down the hallway, his steely gaze piercing him like daggers. He didn't need to be told to follow him when his father moved into the front room, his arms crossed over his broad chest. He walked into the small room, his coat still on, and stared at his sadistic father, trying hard not to show his terror. He had learnt not to show these emotions for the sake of his sisters, but now, when they weren't in sight, it was difficult than usual. Ichigo was just about to ask him, why he had called but Isshin was the one to speak first. "Where is he?" he demanded.

"Where's who?" he asked calmly, knowing full well that he meant Shiro; what he didn't know was how.

"Rukia told me everything – I won't ask again Ichigo; where is he?"

Ichigo gulped nervously, his mind cursing that raven-haired midget and wondered what the hell she had seen and why the hell she didn't think about consulting him first! "What exactly did she tell you?" he ordered, his anger pushing aside any fear he had previously felt.

"That you are doing everything but trying to become a doctor! You think singing instead of curing people will make me forgive you for what you did!" he roared.

"I didn't do it!" he screamed back.

Isshin stepped forward, his eyes darkening with anger and fury; his son had never stood up to him and when he did it didn't last long. "So you didn't run off in a tantrum making her follow you into an alleyway? You didn't push her away into a knife? You didn't call her name causing her to step up and take your blow!?" he hollered, his voice rising with each new blame.

Ichigo winced knowing that it was true but he hadn't meant any of it – he hadn't meant to get his mother killed. "She was protecting me," he replied feebly. "Just like any parent would do for their child," he spat, accusing him of not being the father he used to be.

"I would have done the same," he agreed, his face softening slightly. "If it was a normal kid who had just had a bad moment – the boy I used to know. . . I would have protected him,"

Ichigo clenched his eyes shut, forcing the tears not to overflow. His father had tried guilt tactics before but never this one and Ichigo knew where it was headed and he didn't want to relive that memory. "Not the boy who was too weak to fight back and then goes into withdrawal – I wouldn't go near him," he snarled.

Ichigo's eyes snapped open, his fists about ready to abuse his father like he had done to him on several occasions. "How is it my fault that that happened!?" he shouted. "I was 15 years old!"

"And what about when you left your mother to die! You were old enough then to protect her!"

Ichigo flinched at the memory; it was true he could have prevented it somehow but his stupid trauma of before had come back paralyzing him – the same as when Grimmjow tried to touch him. "And instead of honouring her memory you abuse it by going on a talent show where you decide to sleep with one of the judges! Looks like you picked some tips of those men the first time they came for you!"

That was when he tears overflowed. His father was saying, as usual, that he had caused his mother's death but was now admitting to never wanting him and calling him a whore. It stung so much that he thought his heart would burn up any moment. His father began stalking towards him, no doubt about to give him punishment for forgetting his place. Ichigo remained still ready to receive his punishment and face it like a man but his trauma was kicking in. He backed away until his feet hit the edge of the carpet sending him backwards, landing on his back with a thud. He scrambled trying to get up but only succeeded in clambering into a corner. "See," his father gestured to him. "Pathetic,"

He raised his hand and Ichigo flinched, his eyes closing, waiting for the familiar stinging sensation as his face was hit but was met with nothing. He opened his eyes and saw a white hand grasping Isshin's so tightly that he was grimacing in pain. He turned to the figure now standing in front of him for protection and felt both relief and panic. "Shiro," he breathed.

"Sorry I'm late,"

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><p><strong>I really liked this (as you can tell by the length!) It took all of my self-restraint not to continue but I'll make you wait till next time? Maybe I'll do a double bill? ;) Please review! <strong>


	13. Dark Dangers

**So many reads and positive feedback – Glad you all like this! Kinda diverted from the actual 'Voice' but still – we're getting there! Enjoy 3**

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><p>When it had been over 5 minutes waiting in stuffy and quiet car Shiro began to worry – he wasn't sure if Ichigo was in trouble or if he was simply tying up loose ends. When the time he had been absent approached 10 minutes Shiro's gut clenched painfully, his mind running through various scenarios until finally he got out, slammed the door behind him and entered the house. He was already rushing towards the living room when he heard a low voice growl "pathetic" making him move faster. When he saw Ichigo slumped against a wall, cowering under a man who had his fist raised his vision blackened. The next thing he knew, he was in front of Ichigo acting like a protective barrier whilst holding the man's fist in a vice like grip. "Shiro," Ichigo breathed.<p>

"Sorry I'm late,"

Shiro glared into the eyes of Kurosaki Isshin and felt his insides boil in anger. His golden eyes darkened dangerously at the thought of what this supposed 'father' had done – Not just what he was about to do but what torture he had put Ichigo through before Shiro had met him. The lingering effects were always there: The way Ichigo always looked over his shoulder expecting someone to be watching him; the way he flinched at the smallest things; the way he would force himself not to cry or freeze up every time Shiro wanted to express his love – it was all because of this man. Shiro growled and tightened his grip on the man's fist, his fit of rage drowning out the words Ichigo was trying through convey to him. "Shiro – let him go!"

More images whirled in his mind, Ichigo's voice doing nothing but convincing him that he should pay for what he had done. Isshin's face was now consorted in pain as the albino slowly began to crush his bones; a feral grin beginning to spread on his face at the man's agony. _Funny how he doesn't like it when it's happening ta 'im!_ "Shiro stop!"

Shiro's grin dropped at the note of desperation in Ichigo's voice and dropped the hand that was now bleeding from where the bones had snapped and pierced the skin. Whilst Isshin cradled his injured hand, his teeth biting down on his lip to prevent a cry, Shiro spun around and began helping Ichigo up. "Are ya alright?" he asked.

Ichigo nodded, his eyes darting to his father who was now stepping towards them. "Bastard," he growled lowly before cutting off into a sharp laugh. "Who would've thought the customer would be defending his play toy!"

Shiro didn't have time to move forward and shatter his hand completely before he was directing another comment in Ichigo's direction. "Looks like you really have picked up a few tips from those boys – are you really that good?"

Isshin moved forward, his usual rage displayed back on his face as he glared evilly at his son. Just as he raised his hand, Shiro took hold of the other, Isshin's face immediately crumpling under the pain whilst Shiro spat out, "Don't ya dare touch 'im,"

Shiro clenched down on the broken hand one more time as a warning before pushing Ichigo by the shoulders, eager to put as much distance between themselves and _that _monster. As soon as they stepped outside the wall that Ichigo had put between himself and Shiro crumbled sending him into a blubbering mess. Without even bothering to get to the comfort of the car and protect themselves from the beginning of a storm, Shiro embraced the berry; Ichigo wrapping him arms tightly around him. He was the only one he could trust right now. Shiro so badly wanted to ask what his father had said and what he had meant about picking up tips but now was not the right time. "I'm s-sorry," Ichigo hiccupped, wiping his hand across his tear stained face.

"Don't be," Shiro whispered cupping Ichigo's face in his pale hands.

"It's not what it sounded like," he mumbled, referring to what had been eating Shiro's mind.

Shiro was just about to reply that he didn't care when a high pitched voice cut him off. "Ichigo!"

Shiro turned and snarled when a small, petite raven-haired woman came marching up, her eyes sending daggers into Shiro which was not appreciated at all. "Ichigo! What the hell are you doing with him, I told you -,"

Rukia stopped abruptly when she saw the tears streaming down her friends face and the possessive yet gentle and reassuring way Shiro held him. "Ichigo? What happened?" she asked her voice now laced with concern as she edged towards him.

Ichigo sighed and ran a hand through his hair, Shiro noting that he had now intertwined his hand with his own and was clenching it tightly as he tried to stop shaking uncontrollably. "Guess I should start from the beginning,"

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><p>Ichigo took a long deep gulp of the boiling coffee that had been placed down in front of him, ignoring the way it scalded the back of his throat. Rukia stared down at the table in front of them in unblinking disbelief, her head constantly shaking as she tried to make sense of the situation. "I just can't believe it," she uttered.<p>

"Well ya should," Shiro gritted out in annoyance.

Ichigo glanced up at the albino, hoping that his anger would distract them all from the real problem at hand – of course it would never be that simple. "What happened?" Rukia asked quietly, her question referencing to what went on in the house.

Shiro sat down next to Ichigo, his subtle way of telling Ichigo that he too wanted to know. He didn't know where to start. He could just replay them the events that happened when he tried and failed to confront his father. Or he could go deeper than that and get to the root of the problems. "Ichi," Shiro mumbled, "What did he mean?"

"What do you mean!? About what!?" Rukia cut in, confused with what they were on about.

Ichigo exhaled shakily and concentrated on getting through the story rather than the way his voice was cracking as he began the story. "When I was 15, I came out to everyone – most people had already guessed but I wanted to give my parents a piece of mind instead of having to figure it out a wait for years. 15, was also the year when I was raped," he choked out.

Ichigo clenched his eyes shut for a second allowing himself to calm down as well as the others who were either sucking in sharp breath or clenching the table in anger. "They were in my final year at school and had heard that I had come out. They were bored with all the usual blond chicks and decided it would be fun to hold me down and treat me like one of those whores," he spat out, his anger now replacing any other trace of emotion.

"That was when my father began to despise me. Although I didn't know it until now but he hated me for something I couldn't help. I had been traumatised by their 'little' game and went into withdrawal. My father said he hated me for being so weak; he said it's what made my mother die,"

"Ichigo - her death was never your fault," Rukia cut in, knowing half of what happened at this point.

"That's what I used to think," he admitted. "But now that I look back on it . . . ," he trailed off.

"I was 16 when my mother died," he began, as if to clarify for Shiro. "We were having an argument – well, I was shouting at her. She was trying to help me but it sounded at the time as if she was accusing me of being weak just like father was. I snapped and for the first time in almost a year I spoke. I shouted continuously at her and then ran off. I ran into an alley way hoping she would leave me alone,"

"She did. She stayed around the corner out of sight but in ear shot, in case I needed her. Then the boys came again. It was pure coincidence but they didn't seem to mind – they had been waiting for their favourite 'play-toy' to return,"

"Ichi – you don't ha-,"

"I shouted for her," Ichigo cried out, his hands beginning to shake violently as he relived that painful night.

"I shouted and she came running. Before I knew it she was standing in front of me and getting stabbed. It was meant to be aimed at me but she got to me at the last minute and threw herself at them. It's my fault,"

Ichigo looked down at his hands as if the blood was still there and gave a hysterical and unstable laugh. "My father forced me to go into medicine to 'repent' for my sins. He would hit me over and over getting me to muffle my cries to stop my sisters from hearing – said it was a test. He wanted me to become stronger instead of being the weak son who let his wife die,"

Rukia shook her head in incredulity wanting nothing more than to shoot herself for how she turned Ichigo in. Shiro cut Ichigo off from saying anything more and pulled him to his chest allowing him to scream his frustration and sorrow out, the others cringing at how heart-breaking it sounded. It wasn't long before Ichigo had cried himself to exhaustion and fell asleep on Shiro. The albino sighed and got up, Ichigo in his arms, and headed to the bedroom where Ichigo could finally rest at ease. Shiro gazed down at Ichigo and tugged a stray curl behind his ear before turning to Rukia who had her arms crossed over her chest as she tried to puzzle things together. "What are you going to do about Grimmjow?" she murmured.

"He won't do anything in public and as long as Ichigo is not on his own. We just need ta make it through ta either the finals or until Ichigo is voted out and then he'll have nothing ta do with 'im,"

"I hope you're right," she muttered. "Isshin won't stay quiet you know. He's going to do everything in his power to get Ichigo back,"

"Let 'im try,"

Rukia sighed and dismissed herself leaving Ichigo and Shiro alone. Shiro kissed the berry's nose and buried them both under the covers, his arms instantly going around protecting the boy. "I promise Ichi – I'll protect ya,"

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><p><strong>So. . . . the 'Voice' ended today! Hope you still read this despite that! Please review! <strong>


	14. Sweet Success is but Short

**My muse is fluctuating so much :/ - Horny bitch! Hope you guys enjoy this; may be a bit boring. Please review and keep reading despite that The Voice (well in my country) has finished. We still have a long way to go ;)**

"Remember – seduce, nuts, run!"

"How about just nuts and run?"

"Ichigo my deluded friend – the 'seduce' is there for a reason. How else are you going to get to the 'nut' stage?"

Ichigo sighed at Rukia's attempt to lighten the mood and her ludicrous idea of what to do if that blue-haired bastard managed to get him alone. Of course, they all couldn't stay at Shiro's house forever and there was no way in hell Ichigo was going to pull out of the competition; that would mean both his father and Grimmjow would have won. And anyway, Shiro would still have to judge thus putting only himself in danger. So here they were, backstage at the quarter-finals, relieved that they had made it through a whole week of rehearsals without any trouble.

True to his word, Shiro had done nothing but watch over the berry, his gaze watching every small gesture that Grimmjow made when he was near. Now that the competition was nearing its end, Rukia was now allowed to stay with him for everything as well, giving Shiro some peace of mind – it did nothing for Ichigo. He knew that they were looking out for him but he was a bit annoyed at the fact that they were there at every single turn! Just the other day Rukia, despite her opposite gender, had tried to go to the bathroom with him demanding that she protect him in case the blunette came to have a look at his 'winkle' as she put it. "Remind me again why you're my friend," he groaned exasperated.

"You fancied Nii-sama," she berated grudgingly. "Plus – I'm the cute entourage," she added with a smile.

Ichigo rolled his eyes at that period in his life about to protest about the whole fancy issue before a loud voice boomed his name signalling that it was his turn on stage. "Go get 'im," Rukia cheered, pushing him on stage rather forcefully.

Ichigo corrected his stumbling stance and walked to the middle of stage; his fake smile now easily slipping into place as the camera's trained their mechanic eye on him. He glanced over at Grimmjow, who was smirking up at the berry, and smiled sweetly at him, his brown orbs dancing with humour. _I am so glad Rukia chose this song, _he thought to himself as the drums began to beat and the computer effects began to sizzle around him.

_I hate you everything about you_

_Don't want to be in love with you no more_

_Don't want to be around you, touch you, fuck you_

_Don't ever want to see you walk around my door_

Ichigo pointed to the crowd, loving the way all the girls swooned over him and laughed mentally at Grimmjow's sour face – _Serves you right! _Ichigo glared directly at Grimmjow, most thinking that his angry stance was to put more emotion into the song but others knew better.

_You li-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ed! _

_Now you're dead to me, you're dead to me_

_You're dead to me, you're dead to me_

_You're dead to me . . . _

Ichigo was actually beginning to enjoy this and finally the reality of getting so far was sinking in. There had been so much commotion that he hadn't had time to revel in his success because he was being used as a 'play' toy amongst various other hullabaloos going on at the time. Still singing, Ichigo glimpsed at Shiro, his heart doing flips when he saw the warm smile set on face. He loved him. . . Now that he thought about it, in some ways he was glad this competition was nearing its end; after all this they could possibly have an easier relationship. _But first – let's get rid of this bastard. _

_Betrayed me, played me, slayed me_

_Hurt me like I've never been hurt before_

_Make your bed now lie in it _

_And don't wake up you fucking player_

_You di-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ed _

_Now you're dead to me, you're dead to me_

_You're dead to me, you're dead to me_

_You're dead to me . . ._

_Dead to me!_

_I could get used to this, _Ichigo thought as the crowd rose to their feet to applaud him; Shiro smirking at the blunette who looked as if he was ready to murder. If it weren't for the audience praising him and Shiro's joyful, and lust, filled eyes burning into him, he would have been scared of the look Grimmjow was giving him. Instead he just laughed it off and ran off stage, feeling for the first time in week's content.

He was the last act on stage so right after the judges rejoined waiting for the results program to come on. He, Rukia and Shiro all immediately strolled over to a room of their own making sure to lock it so that no 'unwanted' visitors could get in. Ichigo wasted no time in embracing the albino, his elated mood making him act as if he were drunk. "My my," Shiro purred, enjoying the attention as Ichigo began to subtly nip his neck. "Aren't we frisky?"

Ichigo smiled into his neck when the albino cupped his ass only to pull away when a cough interrupted them. "Did someone spike your drink?" Rukia asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

The raven-haired midget, although strict on them and disapproving at their public affections was glad and even relieved to see that her friend had finally found someone. Ichigo grinned sheepishly at her and ran a hand through his orange locks. "Sorry ," he apologised, trying to hide the blush that was creeping onto his cheeks as Shiro winked seductively at him.

Whilst Rukia and Ichigo argued on their public affections, Shiro went over to turn the TV on – his fingers pressing the numbers for the music channel. Rukia grinned at the sound of M83 and ducked under a table pulling out a large glass of wine and some glasses. "What's all this about?" Ichigo asked, eyeing them suspiciously.

"Congratulations," Rukia cheered, passing him a glass full of red liquid.

"For what?"

"Fer getting this far – not long till I get ta have ya all ta myself," Shiro piped in, wrapping a waist around Ichigo, sipping on the sweet liquid presented to him.

Ichigo smiled as their glasses clinked together and took a long swig of his glass, a slightly tipsy smile gracing his lips as the music came to an end. Yep, nothing could go wrong now.

"Shit!" Shiro cussed.

Ichigo followed the albino's line of sight and felt his breathing stop when he gazed at the television screen, projecting both him and Shiro on screen. _W-what? _"The guitarist of the band 'Pantera', has been seen with one of the oppositions contestants repeatedly and has been questioned whether this is a sexual relationship," the news reporter read out; her monotone voice seeping into Ichigo's bones.

_T-this can't be happening . . . _Ichigo was vaguely aware of his glass slipping between his fingers and falling onto the ground. It brought the other two out of their trance but not Ichigo. All Ichigo could do was stare helplessly at the screen as the two tried to shake him out of it. Their words which he was sure were reassuring, were not registering with his numb brain. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he was hyperventilating and shaking. Then the person who had passed on this information appeared on the screen. The last thing Ichigo saw before he collapse into darkness was the black eyes of Isshin Kurosaki.

**This one's not as long but it was a filler, no? Hope you enjoyed it! :3 **


	15. Confessions of a Sinner

**This came out of nowhere and I had to put it in! – Please, please review all you silent readers! When I look at the reviews there's a whole chain of the same person xD (I wonder who it is ;P ) Anyway Enjoy my Cherubs (really need to get a new name for my followers xD ) **

He had tried four times already and the ring tone of Grimmjow Jeagerjacques's acapella voice singing 'I'm Sexy and I know it' was getting on the albino's nerves. Shiro wasn't even sure if this was a good idea but ever since Ichigo's story and now the news report had come into light he had to sort out his mess. Who would have thought his actions would have influenced the future so much. _Stupid Karma! _ Suddenly in the middle of the 5th repeat of the obnoxious song, the tune clicked off revealing the annoyed and tired blunette. "What!" he growled clearly - irritated that someone had woke him up.

"It's me," Shiro stated, knowing that Grimmjow didn't need much to know who a person was.

"What the fuck do ya want! Ya made ya feelings quite clear and I've agreed to lay off," he shouted.

"Nice ta know," Shiro replied.

It was true, after the report had come on Grimmjow had burst in announcing that he would lay off. Shiro was sure that it was because he didn't want to ruin his reputation but he knew his friend better than that – someone or something had changed his mind drastically and considerably. However, he would never truly see him as a reliable friend again but at the minute he was the only friend who would understand the situation he was in and possibly help.

"Look – I need ta talk with ya," he started.

Grimmjow paused on the other end of the line for a minute before sighing. "What about?"

"It's complicated an' I'm not doing it on ta phone," he said, knowing that Grimmjow would get the message.

After the report it was fairly obvious that everyone was out to find whether it was true – evidence came in the form of many things and one was listening in on phone calls. He heard Grimmjow's hum of understanding and knew that the blunette realised that the majority was going to be about Ichigo. "Where ya wanna meet?" he asked.

"Old base," he replied instantly, breathing a sigh of relief now that he knew Grimmjow was on their side – even if he did try and rape Ichigo.

"Ok – be there in 10," he agreed before hanging up leaving Shiro with nothing but static.

Even after all these years he still didn't know how to hang up without saying so much as a goodbye. Shiro exhaled noisily and stuck the mobile in his pocket willing himself not to lose it so early in the morning. He didn't even know if what he had done could be rectified – what the hell would Ichigo think of him if he told him the truth?

The albino looked over at the sleeping berry and felt the corners of his lips tilt up slightly and walked over to him. He looked so peaceful in his sleep – it suited him compared to that scowl he usually wore. Shiro placed a stray strand of orange from his face and tucked it behind his ear before placing a small kiss on his cheek. He would have hell to face when he woke up. So instead of waking him, telling him that he would be out he simply left, his thoughts occupied on what the hell he was going to say to Grimmjow.

"He said ten minutes! What ta fuck's taking that bastard so long!"

Shiro stood at the entrance to their base, his figure hiding in the shadows in case that blue-haired bastard was going to set him up or even worse . . . Isshin found him. It wasn't particularly warm that morning and the albino had forgotten to bring a coat so now he was stood in a darkened alley-way freezing his tits off. Now could you see why he was angry at Grimmjow for being late?

"Oi! Shiro! Where are ya?" a voice hissed; their voice low as to not to get caught.

Shiro rolled his eyes in frustration at his tardiness before mumbling a quick, "Here, dumbass,"

Grimmjow was like a cat in many ways so in no time he had pinpointed where Shiro's reply had come from and was now walking towards him; his guard constantly up. It was as if nothing had transpired towards the two as they clasped together, feral smirks plastered on their faces. "Been a while,"

"Whose fault was that?" Shiro snorted.

Grimmjow smiled sheepishly, his hand going to the back of his head as he tried to explain. "Gigai is not the best stuff ta be having," he admitted.

_Well, that explains a lot. _Figures that drugs would be behind it. For some reason they had an odd effect on the blunette and in more ways than one. The albino thought back to university where they had both tried Gotei – a new drug developed by the creepy candy man down the road. For Shiro it was a waste of time and money as it had the exact same effects as alcohol – but more tasteless. Needless to say that wasn't the case for Grimmjow who by the end of it was married to a mother of 5, had fucked their science teacher (male) and had signed up for a record deal. Well at least one good thing came out of it!

"Ya took more dodgy drugs?" Shiro laughed. "And from Urahara no less!"

"Hey, how'd ya know it was him?"

"He's ta only one stupid enough ta give ya something after last time!"

Grimmjow mumbled something incoherent whilst a light dusting of pink settled on his face before he grew serious again. "I'm sorry 'bout Ichi,"

Shiro fidgeted a bit at the mention of his fiery – haired lover and at the fact that he had called him 'Ichi'. "He's . . . fine,"

"Fine?" Grimmjow raised an eyebrow, sceptical.

"It's a lot ta explain,"

"Isn't that why I'm here?" he countered.

Shiro sighed, running a hand through his hair. He agreed to meet him, so what did he expect. Shiro took a deep breath and began. "Ichi confessed ta other day ta all his problems after . . . a meeting with his dad,"

"Isshin Kurosaki?"

"Yeah,"

"That bastard turned you in!?" Grimmjow said incredubuosly. "Why?"

"I'll get there," he replied.

"Anyway, turns out he was raped when he was 15 after comin' out," Shiro gritted out.

"Shit," Grimmjow swore, realising why the berry had reacted so strongly when he had decided to take the drugs and start touching him up.

"It's ok – once I tell him 'bout ta drugs he'll forgive ya,"

Grimmjow nodded but still seemed unsure as to where this story was going - surely he didn't drag him all the way out here for that. Shiro was cruel but not so cruel as to make him feel guilty for the rest of his life.

"A year later his mother died,"

"How?" Grimmjow asked, already knowing what was going to happen next.

"The gang who raped 'im reappeared after he and his mother had an argument. Long story short she saved 'im from being raped again,"

"Shiro – what did you-?"

"I didn't mean ta!" he argued back, cutting off what the blunette was going to say.

Grimmjow paused, allowing the albino to regain himself before letting him continue. "Remember the Hollow years?"

Grimmjow nodded uncertainly, the pieces all coming together now. He should have stopped Shiro from saying anything but he wanted to be sure the albino had done it. "I remember my gang coming across an orange-haired lad – we were sent out to find him after we heard he had come out,"

"Shiro – did you do it?"

Shiro stared at the cold concrete ground wishing it would swallow him up. He remained silent so that all the pair could hear was Grimmjow's rising anger in his breathing and Shiro's scuffing of his shoes as he tried to not confess. "Shiro! Did you do it!"

"Yes!" he yelled, so loud that the birds nearby took flight.

Grimmjow's eyes widened despite the fact that he had been anticipating it. "I raped him Grimm," Shiro muttered.

Grimmjow's eyes softened when he heard his old nickname being used and the golden orbs of the albino begin to blur. Grimmjow moved forward meaning to comfort him knowing full well what he thought he did. He would blame himself for the death of Ichigo's mothers. "Shiro - it wasn't your fault,"

"That's ta thing Grimm – it is,"

"What do ya mean?"

"We began to follow him after that. We found him one night and I decided to play with him again until his mother came,"

"Shiro you didn't . . .,"

The albino nodded his head, a stray tear now springing freely from his eye. "I did – I killed Ichigo's mother,"

**I'm squealing at my own story xO Please review! I'll begin to threaten you all if you don't :P **


	16. Non-deserving love

**This is terrible – and I left it till last minute :'( But thank you for over 4,000 reads now! – let's get those reviews up!**

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><p>Shiro waited, his fists clenched at his side and his tears threatening to spill as the truth began to sink in; for both Grimmjow and himself. He had come clean. In many ways it was like a massive weight had been lifted off of his shoulders only to be returned with a stronger one. What would he tell Ichigo? Would he tell him at all? That would be a difficult situation to bring up – <em>Hey Ichi, I need ta confess that I was ta one who raped ya and killed ya mother! <em>

He blamed the drink and the drugs and obviously the hard times that got him to that. Of course that was no excuse but if he needed one there was that. . . The 'Hollow Years' he called them; probably named after the large gang that he had been the leader of during his years at school and university. He had done a lot of things during that time that he wasn't proud of and raping Ichigo was one of those. Killing his mother was a step too far. Shiro kept knife with him at all costs because other gangs were out to get him. That was the only reason why he had carried such a cold and sharp weapon.

It was Grimmjow who had been his friend despite Shiro's status. He was the only one big enough, and the only person who quite honestly didn't care, to approach him. The blunette had, evidently, taken his fair share of drugs and alcohol and as proved still did but whenever he could he would try and help the albino. It was when he got that record deal that he had asked Shiro to join and from there had quite literally saved his ass. Perhaps it was because of everything he had done that he had entrusted him with this enormous secret.

Shiro looked up at the blunette who was gnawing on his lip as he stared down at the concrete floor beneath them in concentration; his brows knitted together as he tried to make sense of the situation. " . . . What are you going to do?" he finally asked, looking up at the albino who was growling at the thoughts swirling around his head.

"Well I can't exactly tell Ichi, can I!?" he growled, his agitation beginning to get the better of him.

"Then what am I doing here?" Grimmjow asked, raising his arms to gesture to their old base.

Shiro gritted his teeth – why had he bothered to tell all of him this? Grimmjow may have helped him in the past but that was no guarantee now. There was nothing he could do anyway! "Things are getting bad now that his father has come on ta the scene," he explained.

"And?"

"I'm gonna crack Grimm," he simply put it.

Grimmjow winced at the vulnerability in his friend's words and immediately regretted acting harsh on the matter; he knew it wasn't his fault.

"I'm gonna end up telling 'im . . . I may even finish ta job an' kill his father!" he spat venomously.

Silence followed after that. Neither of them knew what to do or whether to do anything at all. The blunette gulped visibly at the next words Shiro spoke and tried to avert his eyes away from his intense gaze. "You care fer 'im,"

"I don't know what ya tal-,"

"Fer God sake Grimm, I'm not stupid!"

Grimmjow fidgeted a bit, the metallic taste of blood now swirling in his mouth from the constant biting of his lips. He had been found out. "Yes . . . I _care _for him," he muttered.

For a minute anger swirled in Shiro's molten gold eyes before being replaced with what almost looked like relief? Grimmjow wasn't sure whether to be scared or mitigated with this confusing act but preceded with caution none the less. Grimmjow patiently waited whilst Shiro seemed to be fighting an internal battle.

Finally Shiro turned to him, a resolve clear in his eyes as well as the deep sorrow that seemed to resonate there. Maybe it was because he had known him so long that he knew what the albino was thinking. "No . . . I will not do that Shiro!"  
>"You and I both know its fer ta best!"<p>

"He loves ya – not me! If you do this it won't just be agony for you but for him as well!"

"That's a risk I need ta take," he said calmly, frustrating the blunette further.

"Ya can't force someone to love another man,"

"I can try . . . ,"

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><p>Ichigo stretched a little in the king size bed he was currently occupying and turned to snuggle closer to his white-skinned lover only to find he was laying in a cold bed alone. He opened his eyes groggily, trying to rub the sleep off before he glanced around the room sighing. He was hoping to wake up with Shiro asleep beside him and hopefully forget all his problems even if it was for a short while. He hadn't known Shiro long, but he could take a pretty good guess that he was currently trying to sort out this mess.<p>

He thought back to last night and blushed in embarrassment and anger at the way he had handled the news; fainting like a girl. Of course that would only prove to show everyone that he was weak and fragile! Ichigo exhaled loudly and dragged himself off the silky sheets, heading to the kitchen to provide for his growling stomach. That's when he saw the flashes outside the window.

Still sleepy and confused, Ichigo trotted over to the window and glanced outside only to freeze to the spot when more flashes were directed at him. He heard a distant "there he is!" from the crowd of photographers and reporters below and quickly yanked the curtains closed before sinking to the floor trying not to hyperventilate. Ichigo buried his head in his hands forcing himself to calm down and grabbed his phone before sitting back down on the floor, ignoring the banging from outside below as people tried to get into the apartment complex.

He was glad when Shiro picked up on the first ring and ignored his protective "hello," and dived right in. "They're here," he whispered urgently.

"Who's there!? Ichi, what's going on!"

Ichigo clenched his eyes shut trying not to let Shiro's panicked voice get the better of his nerves and persisted on. "The media! They're trying to get in to the building," he explained.

Shiro seemed to take a calming breath, obviously relaxed now that he knew what was going on. "Don't worry, just stay there and don't go out,"

"That's not going to work Shiro," he replied guiltily.

"Why not?"

"Because they've already seen me. . . ,"

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><p><strong>DUH DUH DUUUUHHHHH! Hope you enjoyed this and please, PLEASE review! ! ! I'm desperate for them especially when this is getting so hard to continue <strong>


	17. Moving into position

**Good day . . . . Thank you so much for all the reads and actually writing a review for me – it really helps my story (I already know how this one will end ;) ) Hope you enjoy – this one is from Grimmjows POV for a bit of variation! (And because of what may or may not happen later *insert evil laugh***

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><p>First he grew feelings . . . that was the first sign that his life was about to go shit. It was only because of his drug induced high that he didn't realise straight away that he had harboured such feelings as love and lust! It wasn't the fact that he had fallen helplessly in love – no, that didn't annoy him. Nor was he annoyed that it was over a particular orange-haired man who just wouldn't see him in a different light other than 'rapist' (which he honestly didn't mean to come across as) No, it was the fact that he was already taken by his best friend.<p>

The pair had shared several things in the past. It was first obvious to the pair that they had similar interests when they both went for the same sexual preferences ending more than one times in a heated three - way in the bedroom. Grimmjow at that point wasn't bothered whether he was into chicks or guys; as long as they gave him what they wanted than he was more than happy. Ichigo was when he first started caring. Questions seemed to constantly bombard his thoughts on when this exactly happened, why he liked him of all people and most of all why the fuck him!? It was the worst possible situation to be in! He knew from past experience how possessive Shiro could get over things and as a result had almost died (no exaggeration!). And because of this he was pretty sure he wasn't going to see much of his friend whilst this 'thing' went on – like a predator protecting his territory.

So it was needless to say he was surprised when the albino rung him and confessed everything as if they were good old friends again and then voiced the unthinkable – he was going to let him have Ichigo. Grimmjow knew he shouldn't refer to him as an object, but at the minute that was what he was; a precious jewel that the blunette was just itching to get his hands on.

The blunette looked up at the albino feeling his frustration reach its peak. Maybe he did love Ichigo. But he still grasped onto some aspects of the gentlemen that was buried deep within him and one of those codes of chivalry stated he would not steal his friends flings or lovers (unless they invited him for some action!) It was also because of these feelings that stopped him from taking Shiro's invitation. He cared about Ichigo but Ichigo clearly cared for Shiro more than him and he didn't want to jeopardise that happiness he saw glint in mocha brown eyes. "Ya can't force someone to love another man," he tried to reason.

"I can try . . . ," the albino muttered.

Grimmjow sighed, running a hand through his tousled blue locks and sighed about to reply when Shiro's phone began ringing. Shiro growled in annoyance and looked at the caller ID but relaxed visibly when he saw the caller. – That didn't stop him from answering in a protective voice however. "Hello,"

Grimmjow watched as golden eyes widened in alarm; a pale hand clenching the phone in a death grip. "Who's there!? Ichi, what's going on!?" he demanded.

Watching intensely, Grimmjow – like a four year old child – crossed his fingers desperately hoping nothing bad had happened to him. He was about to relax when he saw Shiro smirk slightly and lean against the damp ridden wall but he should have known better. All that was keeping him from snapping was the fact that it was involving Ichigo when Shiro put down his phone and stared him straight in the eye and simply said, "The media 'ave found 'im,"

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><p>It was a nightmare trying to get into the tall apartment without being seen. Photographers and journalists covered almost every single entrance not letting anyone in or out. Almost. Grimmjow and Shiro didn't just get their bodies to attract sexual partners – they did it for more reasons. Grimmjow stared down at the scaffolding entrapping the back of the apartment and held out a hand for the albino who was on the rung below him. "Thanks," he mumbled, before storming past and heading to his apartment.<p>

Grimmjow didn't blame him; he too wanted to see if the berry was alright. He waited patiently, his hands tucked away in his pockets, whilst Shiro unlocked the door and walked in. A blur of orange passed his line of sight before the berry was holding the albino in a bone-crunching embrace ignoring the blunette who was now looking at anywhere but them. Didn't Shiro see how much he loved him? Surely he didn't _still_ want him to try and go for him. Shiro pulled back and crashed his lips fiercely with Ichigo's earning a small moan which only angered Grimmjow.

Eventually the two pulled apart, panting slightly as they turned to Grimmjow, Ichigo freezing when he saw the blunette. "What's he doing here?" he whispered, afraid that any loud noise would move Grimmjow into action.

"Ichi, he's fine – He'll explain later," he promised, Grimmjow noting that he said 'he' not 'I'.

Clearly he was serious about his earlier request. Slowly, Ichigo's shoulders relaxed and his coffee eyes seemed to glisten with curiosity and did he dare say excitement? The glint in the other's eyes when he finally got a look at the blunette did not go unmissed. Grimmjow as well allowed himself to glance at the lithe body in front of him and forced himself not to groan at the sight. He felt back about molesting the poor guy but could he blame him? Even high on drugs his blurry mind could detect his sexiness! "Grimm, I need ya ta stay here with Ichi whilst I get rid of these bastards,"

The blunette's eyes snapped up at the watery voice before registering what he had just said. "Ya sure?" he challenged.

Molten gold eyes glared at him, annoyed that his best friend would defile him and made his way towards the door. "Yeah – I trust ya,"

The blunette couldn't help but notice the hurt look in Ichigo's eyes as Shiro left without another word and sighed – God, he hated that bastard. Who the hell could deny a hurt and yet sexy berry!? Ichigo made his way towards the closed curtains and leant heavily against the wall, his shoulders sagging ever so slightly. "I'm sorry," Grimmjow blurted, not knowing how to clear the air – an apology for what he had done seemed best.

"For what?" he replied in a monotone voice, staring through the gap in the curtains.

"For everything I did to ya . . . and about ya past,"

Ichigo turned his head sharply, his brown orbs wide in surprise before lowering to sorrow as he remembered the traumatic events. "I should have know he would tell you – probably to make you feel guilty,"

"I never meant to . . . to do anything like that. I was on some crazy shit at the time,"

"I know,"

Grimmjow recoiled a bit at that honestly not expecting it. "Y-you did?"

"I use to study medicine . . . I know the symptoms of taking drugs," he scoffed.

Grimmjow smirked, glad that the berry was beginning to joke and played along. "Smart ass,"

Ichigo chuckled and turned towards him, his eyes sparkling with laughter which just melted the blunette's heart into a gooey pile of mush. If anyone would ever ask, he never turned into a softy. "That's why I'm sorry as well - I shouldn't have hit you that hard," he said, referring to the time he hurt him in order to get away.

"Nah – I deserved it," he waved it off. "'Sides, I should know better than taking dodgy drugs from a weird candy man,"

At this, Ichigo began to laugh the sound music to Grimmjow's ears as he began to stand straighter and, to him, seem to practically glow. His face seemed to sober almost immediately however, making Grimmjows fingers twitch as he ached to comfort him. To wipe away those tears that were already gathering in the corner of his eyes. "How much did he tell you?" he asked.

"Ya dad, that gang . . . and ya mother,"

He flinched at the blunette's words making him regret telling him but the sooner they cleared everything with each other the better. Grimmjow moved closer to the berry until he was right in front of him and placed a finger under his chin tilting it up to look into his bleary eyes. "Do ya know ya father's a bastard? "he asked earning a small giggle from the other.

"Why of course not," he feigned innocence before his eyes darkened considerably.

"I know what ya thinking - ya can't seriously believe him!?"

"But it is true – I technically killed my mother,"

Grimmjow compelled himself not to tighten his grip that was currently tilting the others chin up and instead settled for staring heatedly into his eyes. "The guy who stabbed her killed her,"

It was as if he had been waiting his whole life for someone to tell him that – to tell him that he was wrong. Grimmjow watched helplessly as the berry broke down, his hands crawling up to his face to hide the waterfall that was flowing down his cheeks. Without knowing what else to do, Grimmjow embraced the weeping man, his heart swelling when the other clung onto him as if his life depended on it. "Don't worry," he cooed. "It'll be alright," he murmured, holding his head to his chest consoling him, all too aware of the breaking albino in the doorway.

"I'm here,"


	18. Broken

**Finally we get back to 'The Voice' xD This is just a filler – the good stuff should be starting soon ;) Enjoy . . . while you still can xD To those people who think i is 'rambling' – it is going somewhere you just have to be patient okay? (Bare in mind I am halving the chapters and splitting them into two updates :P )**

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><p>Ichigo peeked through the backstage curtains and into the crowd that were eagerly awaiting his arrival and sighed. No matter what happened they would still love him. <em>Great; I've not even won and already I have a fan base! <em>Mocha eyes flicked to the screen that was showing his performances and 'how he got here' videos before he himself would go on stage. Flashes of white showed up more than blue making him grit his teeth in annoyance. Why did they have to show stupid montages at this point anyway!?

He had made it to the semi-finals. It wasn't everyday you could say that to people but Ichigo didn't exactly feel in the mood to bloat about it – he was extremely pissed off. After the fiasco at the apartment, no-one had exactly been the same. Grimmjow grew freindly but this, it turns out, was in fact his usual self just without the drugs! Now that the dodgy substance had left his system he could actually be a very nice guy – the key word being could. The blunette was still an infuriating asshole but at least he didn't molest him in public anymore which Ichigo decided was a big plus!

Grimmjow, of course, wasn't the only one who had changed. Ichigo had decided after his chat with Grimmjow that he would stop acting like a wounded animal and actually get off his ass and get this mess sorted out. That basically meant that he was pissed off all the time because he wasn't allowed to do anything. But it wasn't himself that he was worried about - it was Shiro.

He wasn't sure how to put it; Ichigo just knew that something serious was bothering the albino more than the media finding them. Recently, he had been ignoring him as well and was insistent that he spend time with his actual mentor (and he had stated this in a rather harsh matter). Shiro wasn't normally one to back down from something even if things got a little hairy so his behaviour was more than a little weird – Ichigo hardly ever saw him anymore!

A firm hand to his shoulder brought him out of his musings and he spun to find the blue-haired devil himself making him scowl – something he had been doing a lot of recently. "What do you want?" he grunted, turning back to the crowd.

"Just wanted to see how ya were holding up," he shrugged, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"Yeah, well you didn't need to," he replied curtly.

"Someone's on their period! Sorry, I bothered," he growled making Ichigo turn around in guilt.

"Sorry," he muttered, grabbing him by the wrist to stop him from leaving. "I'm just pissed off," he admitted, pointing to the screen where they were showing shots of himself and Shiro despite Grimmjow being his mentor.

Grimmjow, seeming to understand, sighed running a hand through his effervescent blue locks before placing his hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "That's what they're trying to do – don't let it get to ya,"

"How can I!? Because of it Shiro won't even speak to me let alone touch me!"

"Maybe he just needs time to figure some stuff out," he replied.

"Like what?" he snorted, ignoring the blunette and continuing for him. "Like deciding on whether to end it with me or not"

"Ichi – he loves ya. He wouldn't end it unless it was in ya best interest," he argued.

"That means the same thing, dumbass," he retorted but found himself laughing afterwards.

Grimmjow smiled, and walked by him ready to take his seat. "Use that fire in ya performance," he reminded him making Ichigo grin.

Yeah – they had come up with one hell of a song to sing and they were certain shit was going to go down after but who cared! He looked down at his new guitar that he was holding and smiled at the white and orange fusion paint work that he done at the weekend. If the media didn't get that then nobody would.

The berry still wasn't sure why they were so bothered on whether they had a relationship or not, but he was lucky that so far, despite the picture of him in his apartment, the TV producers had turned a blind eye. It may not be the wisest idea in the world to mock them with the upcoming song and new guitar but who was he one to care.

As if on cue, the montage finished announcing that it was his turn to go on stage. In one fluid motion, he pushed the curtains that were in front of him and stepped through, a manic grin plastered on his face. He was going to enjoy this so much . . . Swaying to the middle of the stage with the drums beating around him, he cast a fleeting glimpse at the judges and enjoyed the wide gold eyes that were lying on his guitar. Yeah, he hadn't told the albino that he had done this. _Well, he's in for a treat, _he thought as he began to sing.

_You don't like me, I don't like – It don't matter_

_Only difference, you still listen – I don't have to_

_In one ear and out the other _

_I don't need you_

_Your words don't stick, I ain't perfect but you ain't either_

Ichigo smiled at the faces of the judges who were all smirking . . . albeit one. He didn't care for now that that one person who he wanted to see smile wasn't – he was too lost in the music. He wanted to laugh at the camera crews anxious faces as they filmed him.

_If you're feeling froggy leap_

_I ain't even losing sleep_

_There's more to me than what you see_

_You wouldn't like me when I'm angry . . . _

God, he felt a thrill of excitement when he saw everyone shudder at that last line, even the albino who was currently trying to look everywhere but him. _Che~ _Ichigo mentally tooted. _Talk about obvious! _

_Mr Photographer – I think I'm ready for my close-up_

_Tonight, make sure you catch me from my good side_

_Pick one – these other (HA) just wanna be me_

_Is that money in your pocket?_

_Or are you happy to see me!? _

Before he had time to react, magenta pink flashed in front of him. Ichigo's eyes widened slightly as his past rival, Riruka, jumped up from the crowd and joined the backing singers on stage shooting him a wink before accompanying him. He couldn't help but sneer at that and started singing again, this time noticing the way even the presenters were at a loss of what to do and say.

_Kill the lights! _

_(Take 'em out, Turn 'em off, Break 'em down) _

_Kill the lights!_

_(Don't be scared, make a move, see me now)_

_Kill the lights!_

_(I feel you, watching me, watching you)_

_Kill the lights!  
>You can't handle the truth, what happened to ya? <em>

He could see them out of the corner of his eyes. The flashing lights that were capturing this 'rebellious' mood and glanced at Grimmjow who was giving him a subtle thumbs up at the good work - of course he also noticed the glare Shiro was giving the two of them.

_I KILL_

_(the lights) Pure_

_(the lights) satis-_

_(the lights) faction_

_I KILL _

_(the lights) Lights_

_(the lights) Camera_

_(the lights) Action! _

_Yeah!_

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><p>"Thanks again Riruka!" he shouted after the pink-haired girl as she ran back to her mentor.<p>

"Anytime berry!" she yelled back, making him roll his eyes but chuckle nonetheless.

He gazed around at the looks people were now giving him and felt his spirit lighten ever so slightly. At first the idea of mocking the media and the TV producers had been a massive gamble and more than a little daunting. But now he was starting to think that it had been a good idea. That had been one of the most terrifying and equally electrifying moments of his life even if the albino in the corner didn't see it like that. _Speaking of Shiro, where is he? I would have thought he was going to lecture me?_ he thought, glancing around for a sign of his snowy companion.

"Ichi!"

Ichigo barely had enough time to turn before something pounced on him like cat, wrapping their huge arms around his shoulders in a fucking tight embrace. "You're just like Rukia – always trying to fucking kill me," he muffled into Grimmjow's chest. "Get off!"

He would never admit it but his arms around him felt nice . . . more than nice. Of course, that wasn't the only reason why he wanted him off – he generally was being hugged to death. "Can't breathe!" he elaborated, pretending to drink big gulps of air.

"Ya such a drama queen," the blunette chuckled, letting go of him so he could see his eyes.

"Yeah, well it paid off," he smirked, annoying the blunette.

"Smart ass," he mumbled before grinning. "Enjoy the show?"

Ichigo matched his grin, it edging on demonic, and clutched the guitar closer to his body. "Hell yeah,"

"Good – Let's go grab a beer," he declared before continuing when he saw the berry's hesitant eyes. "Drinks are on me,"

"Well, since you so kindly offered," he beamed, sending the blunette's heart in a flurry at the glow in his eyes.

"Oi!"

The pair turned around in time to see Shiro who was storming up to them, his face one of thunder; he was extremely pissed off. Even in Ichigo's dazed and happy state he could tell something really bad was about to happen. "Hey Shiro!" he chirped.

"Don't 'hey Shiro' me Ichi," he growled, stopping so their faces were inches away.

"Whoa, whoa – what the hell's wrong?" Grimmjow interrupted, stepping in between them sensing that the albino was ready to punch something; and he didn't exactly want him to punch Ichi.

"Ya're in on this as well, so don't think ya gettin' away with it either!"

"What the fuck are ya on about!?" Grimmjow asked, his voice rising along with his patience.

Ichigo watched Shiro's eyes seem to glow dangerously and wondered too what the hell was wrong with him. "Shiro, what's going on?" he asked calmly, making the albino's harsh golden pools land on him.

The intensity of his gaze was burning holes through his head so much so that he was forcing himself not to look away from that smouldering gaze. "Why ta fuck are ya tryin' to anger ta media and the TV producers!?"

"What? Shiro we not trying t-,"

"Do ya want to leave an' get a court order? 'Cause that's what ya gonna get!" he snarled, directing his fury at Ichigo.

Ichigo flinched, his body instinctively going behind Grimmjow's form for protection who glared at the albino. "Shiro, stop this!" he mumbled urgently, both the blunette and the albino knowing he was directing to a un- discussed topic; it seems Shiro was still trying to push Ichigo away.

"It's fine! If ya want ta go ahead an' never see me again, I'm fine with that!"

Ichigo shrunk further behind the blunette, his fiery resolve staring to crumble at such harsh words resulting in the small tears that were gathering in the corner of his eyes. "Shi-,"

Before he could finish saying just his name, Shiro leapt forward grabbing his guitar by the neck before walking towards the stairs. Ichigo stared at him incredubuosly and began to follow him, his heart beating a thousand miles per second the higher he climbed. "Shiro! Shiro, look at me!" he shouted continuously confused at his abrupt behaviour.

"Shut it!" he growled, climbing quicker.

Ichigo glanced at the spiral black writing on the side of a wall and felt his heart tug in his chest at the word rooftop. "Shiro, stop it!" he cried, tugging on his sleeve.

The albino whirled on him, his hand quickly hitting away his comforting arm making the berry lose his balance. He only saw gold eyes widen for a fraction of a second before falling backwards and into a pair of arms. "Jesus Christ Shiro, ya going too far!"

Ichigo looked up at Grimmjow and exhaled shakily at the thought of what could have happened if he weren't there to catch him. He watched as Shiro continued hastily climbing and at first wasn't sure whether to follow him or not. Shaking his head, he ran after him – he wasn't going to push him over the edge.

He flung the door to the rooftop open, Grimmjow not far behind and gasped when he saw Shiro violently throw the guitar over the edge, hearing the shatter of wood and strings not long after. Shiro turned around and gave him a hard glare before storming past him and back down the stairs leaving a mortified Ichigo on the top. He couldn't help but think that their relationship was in the same state as that guitar - broken.

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><p><strong>Bit longer than last so hope you enjoy! As I said getting to the good stuff soon ;) <strong>


	19. The Hidden Monster

**Good stuff coming up I promise! Enjoy the calm(ish) before the storm! (Another build up so sorry)**

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><p>A soft, calming piano was playing, bouncing off the large rooms of the house (more like mansion) lulling the orange-haired man into a hazy, hypnotic state. His elbows were resting on the shiny, black top of the grand piano vaguely watching the blunette strike the keys delicately as his mind was somewhere else.<p>

He was supposed to be practising with Grimmjow for the final that he had made it into despite the media and the rebellious song he sung last time. Of course more than that, it was to distract him from the past few days; the days in which the albino had either been ignoring him or being brutally violent. No hitting was involved but it sometimes felt like just the intensity of anger in his voice would cause a line of scarlet on him. Ichigo still had no idea what was on his mind – like he would turn this mad just because of a small act he did on stage! No, something else was bothering him and in turn it was bothering Ichigo.

Asking Grimmjow was out of the question. Both because Shiro wasn't talking to him either and he got a little shady when the subject was brought up. Steering completely off the subject was more than a little shady – it was highly suspicious. This was pissing the berry off. What was even more annoying was that they thought keeping him in the dark was a good thing! (which he was sure that was what they were doing.)

Ichigo gazed out the window and into the dark sky that was cascading over the small town. It was going to rain. The dark grey clouds looming over head threatened to spill at anytime making the younger man growl in annoyance. Almost everything bad associated with his life happened on a day it rained. First him, his mother and now the whole business with Shiro. What was going through his head?

A deep sigh drew him out of his musings and he turned to find Grimmjow staring up at him, his fingers halted over the keys. "Sorry," he mumbled, "Did I miss my cue again?"

"Ichi," he rumbled, running a hand through his blue, tangled locks. "I stopped five minutes ago and must have called ya name at least ten times!"

"Sorry," he repeated, giving him an apologetic look. "Shall we try again?"

Grimmjow stood up from the leather stool he was sat on and walked over to the berry before leaning against the window. "We've tried more than twenty times now," he stated, ignoring how Ichigo's mocha eyes averted to the dark sky. "What's wrong?" he added as an afterthought.

"Nothing,"

Exhaling loudly, Grimmjow pushed himself off the window and slumped onto the floor making Ichigo give him a quizzical look. "I told him it was wrong – it would never work," he muttered to himself.

"What would never work? Do you mean Shiro!?" Ichigo asked frantically.

Grimmjow hesitantly nodded before patting the space next to him, offering the floor as a seat and also a silent request to listen. Ichigo complied and sat down on the polished wooden floor, his tongue instantly itching to bombard the blunette with questions. "Ya do know it's not ya fault he's avoiding ya," he started.

Ichigo nodded albeit tentatively not sure if this was a trick question or not. "He's basically punishing himself,"

"For what!?"

"What do ya think?" Grimmjow replied rather quickly. "H-he's annoyed that the media have found out and wants a better future for ya," he stumbled, making the orange-haired man narrow his eyes in suspicion.

Although by the sounds of it, there was some truth to his words. "Is that why he's pushing me away?" he whispered.

"Yes,"

That was all Ichigo basically wanted to hear. Slowly, he rose to his feet and strode over to the door, hearing a muffled 'shit' behind him before the blunette himself scrambled to his feet. "Where are ya going?" he asked, watching as Ichigo grabbed a scarf and wrapped it around his slender neck.

"Going to see Shiro?" he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Ichi - I don't think that's a good idea-!"

"Why not? Is it because there is something you're not telling me?" he asked, glaring at him.

He watched as Grimmjow stood stunned for a few seconds before trying to come up with a structured sentence but it didn't work; he ended up gaping like a goldfish. "I thought so," he commented dryly, closing the door behind him.

Ichigo took a calming breath once outside the door to compose himself but nothing could stop the fear and anxiety coursing through his veins. Luckily, Shiro and Grimmjow didn't live far apart so all it took was a five minute walk and he was there. It may not be enough time for his brain to cool down and come up with a plan but this was a spur of the moment thing and anyway, if he _had _time to think he would be running away.

In a matter of seconds, as it turns out, Ichigo was standing outside one of the many residents Shiro owned and all he could do was stare at the door. _What if he really does hate me? _he thought, ignoring the small droplets of rain that had begun to fall on his head. As if on its own accord, his hand moved towards the door and before he knew it, it was banging against the door rather violently.

When at first there was no reply he tried again, this time his knuckles turning red from the force of his knocks but still there was no reply. _Maybe he's not in. _Ichigo was just about to turn around when he realised that maybe the albino was still avoiding him making him glower at the door. He turned the massive handle on the door, expecting it to be locked but sighed in relief when it opened easily. Without any time for second thoughts, he entered the house.

The first thing that hit him was the revolting stench of alcohol that seemed to seep into the walls and floorboards. The last residence he had been to was fairly clean but this was like a bomb had hit. All sorts were lying a strewn ranging from simple clothes to pieces of glass from no doubt the bottles of liquor he had been downing.

Despite what it looked like on the outside, the inside of the house was fairly compact making the whole searching for him a lot more easier than expected. Although not long after he had entered, that watery voice was heard from behind the door in front of him. Ichigo stepped forward, pressing his ear to the door but only achieved in hearing some muffling. Ichigo gulped before taking the door knob and pushing gently as to not disturb the albino and peeked through the gap.

His heart still leapt in his throat when he saw him; his lithe body was beginning to thin ever so slightly making the jeans he was currently wearing hang loosely around his hips. He couldn't see but he could probably guess that the albino also had bags and shadows under his eyes, framing his tired and weary golden orbs. Pushing his form back to the rear of his mind, he pressed an ear to the small crack trying to listen to the harsh and angry words Shiro was sprouting down the phone. "Ya think I like doin' this!? Its fer ta best!"

Ichigo scrunched his nose in confusion and opened the door further to get a clearer view and sound. _What's for the best? _Ichigo stared at Shiro's raging face and wondered who on earth was on the other side of the phone – they were getting a right earful! Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled noisily, his frustration reaching boiling point. "Think 'bout it ya bastard! Who would want ta date someone who killed their mother and raped them!?"

Ichigo, who had been slowly moving into the room, froze. _What . . . _Oblivious to the orange-haired man behind him, the albino continued shouting down the phone. "We are not 'aving this discussion again! It was me, I remember as if it were yesterday! I' surprised he didn't recognise me in ta beginning!"

Ichigo flinched and slumped against the bookshelf on the wall, no longer able to hold himself up. Several books fell to the ground causing Shiro to whirl around, spotting the culprit before his eyes widened. Both stared at each other as the phone fell to the ground with a loud clank, but neither of them noticed. Ichigo glanced at his golden orbs swirling dangerously with anger and sorrow, causing them to darken and cursed himself. Now he did remember.

_Who are you? _

He remembered that form coming towards him in a darkened alley-way cornering him like a predator would his prey.

_What do you want? _

He remembered the way those pale hands had molested him on a cold, dark and rainy day; his insane smile forever curling up at the sight of him.

_Get off me! _

That psychotic laugh that had echoed all around them when he saw Ichigo's tears was now ringing in his ears. He could still feel his nails raking his body leaving red angry marks on his skin.

_No! Help me! Please help!_

Begging hadn't worked. It had made the pale monster laugh and hit harder. Sharp teeth would show from pale lips before drawing blood from him,

_Ichigo? _

Mom. Coming to rescue. Her voice echoed off the walls, alerting the snow coloured man on top of him making Ichigo's blood pound faster. _Run _he wanted to shout.

_Ichigo! Get off him!_

A sharp, glinting object came out, reflecting in the moonlight. He only caught it for a second before a body blocked his sight followed by the continuous flow of red that had begun to spray all over him.

_Mom? _

His voice finally worked but what use was that now. Feet were pounding away from him but not before he heard that monstrous laugh erupt into the night.

_Mom? Mommy! Mommy!_

A limp, red splattered body lay in front of him not moving; something that would haunt his dreams for years - That and the gold eyes that belonged to the person who had caused it all.

"Ichi?"

Ichigo flinched at the voice that was washing over him and backed away towards the door, his hands shaking vigorously at his sides. He looked up at Shiro, his heart beating faster when he lay eyes on those gold ones. "Get away from me," he mumbled.

Shiro shook his head as if not wanting to believe it and took a step towards him, his body now seeming a lot larger than he had once thought. Ichigo began to hyperventilate as he continued to make his way towards him before reaching out and grabbing his wrist as an attempt to pull him in and calm him. "Get off me!" he cried, tears blurring his vision just like last time he had said that to him.

Shiro flinched and reluctantly let go as Ichigo began to whimper. Before anything else could be said, Ichigo sprinted for the door wasting no time in flinging it open and running out of the house and into the cold and wet night.

It was raining now; pouring relentlessly onto him as he ran for his life to the only place that seemed safe at the minute. It was funny how Grimmjow was waiting for him at the front door almost as if he knew what had happened. Ichigo refused to believe that the blunette knew anything about this because at the minute he couldn't take any of it. So instead he ran into his welcoming arms, crying shamelessly before reaching up and kissing him.

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><p><strong>I was going to continue this chapter . . . but that would mean less chapters until the end, which is drawing near. So instead I will leave it at this (because I am evil ;) ) <strong>


	20. Lust induced shock

**Time for some hot and exciting stuff ;) You all need a treat after what I've put ya through even if this one is short! xD That's why this is a double so please enjoy! (I'm not doing well needed revising for you guys )**

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><p>He wasn't thinking straight. He had just found that his boyfriend was the one who had raped him and also the one who killed his mother. Of course he would be upset and not think rationally. <em>Yeah – that's why I'm kissing my mentor <em>Ichigo thought, as he pressed his lips to Grimmjows.

It wasn't anything like the kiss he and Shiro shared, and then again what was he expecting it to be like? Grimmjow was tense under his arms, frozen like a statue whilst Ichigo kept his lips firmly planted on his. Slowly, Grimmjow wrapped his arms around Ichigo's waist and started kissing back making relief wash over Ichigo. Maybe he wanted this so he could forget about Shiro? That was the reason, he convinced himself, that was making him act and respond like this.

He gasped slightly as Grimmjow parted his lips with his tongue, delving into Ichigo's dark cavern and wasting no time in exploring it. Ichigo knew this was selfish and evil of him. Once he was done he was sure he would push Grimmjow away and forget this ever happened. He wasn't stupid; he knew Grimmjow had feelings for him - maybe that was why he was using him knowing that the blunette would more than willingly participate. That didn't stop the fact that he was beginning to feel aroused.

A wanton moan escaped his lips, making Grimmjow growl deep in his throat at the delicious sound. Harshly, Ichigo tugged on blue locks demanding the kiss to be deeper and to pull him closer – Grimmjow was still debating whether or not this was a good idea. Taking up on his offer seemed to win out as he began trailing kisses all over his neck stopping to give a territorial bite when he got to the jugular area. Ichigo closed his eyes as Grimmjow's hands traced small, meaningless shapes at his hips, his fingers occasionally slipping past his waistband. The damn fucker was teasing with him!

This time it was Ichigo's turn to growl and before Grimmjow could say 'what the fuck', he had pushed him up against the wall and started kneeing the hard bulge in his pants making the blunette groan. Lips crashed into his violently effectively stopping his ministrations before Grimmjow pulled him into the house making Ichigo realise that they were still stood in the doorway. He didn't have long to ponder the idea when arms wrapped around his waist and lifted him up.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"Shut up," he replied, slapping his ass and quietening the blushing berry.

It didn't take long to reach one of the rooms in the massive house, mainly because Grimmjow had been practically jogging looking for one. Grimmjow closed the door behind him before plopping Ichigo down onto the satin sheets, making him bounce slightly. Ichigo looked up through lust-filled eyes as the blunette climbed towards him on his hands and knees like an animal. Before long, Grimmjow was resting on his forearms, which were either side of the berry's head, and had initiated another deep kiss.

Ichigo moaned, his back arching searching for the body above him. The blunette had taken his top off so Ichigo was now pressing up on a perfectly sculpted body radiating heat. Whilst Grimmjow continued exploring, Ichigo did a little exploring of his own, letting his hands trial over his well defined muscles. Nails raked down his back, leaving angry red marks in its wake as Grimmjow moved down and captured one of his nipples in his mouth. Ichigo writhed around underneath as Grimmjow continued his torture, his hands travelling further and further until . . .

"Ichi," Grimmjow sighed, rubbing a tear that had sprung free.

Ichigo gazed up at him through blurry eyes trying his best not to whimper. "I-i'm sorry," he whispered. "I can't . . . ,"

Grimmjow smiled slightly and bent down to kiss his forehead before collapsing next to him and gathering him in his arms. "I know – you don't have to be sorry,"

Reluctantly Ichigo wrapped his arms around the blunette's waist, his shoulders shaking slightly. "Why did he do it?" he asked.

"He didn't mean to do -,"

"Yes he did. But that's not the question I asked,"

Grimmjow sighed. "There are a lot of things he regrets, and that was one of those. Let's just say he never used to be the same person he is now,"

"But-!"

"Ichi - it's best if you talk to him yourself. Do you trust me?" he asked, staring into his eyes.

"Yes,"

"Then trust me when I say he regrets it and he would never hurt you again,"

Ichigo nodded before snuggling closer to him, well aware that the more he relied on Grimmjow for these things the worse he was going to feel when things went wrong. Just as sleep was about to claim him a ringing aroused him. Grimmjow rolled over slightly to retrieve the annoying device and opened up the text he had just received before sighing. "You ready to talk to him?"

Ichigo took a shaky breath before nodding. "Good," Grimmjow said. "Because he wants to see you,"

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><p><strong>Please review! You're welcome for the double bill ;) <strong>


	21. Russian Roulette

**Getting exciting! Hope this still interests you – enjoy!**

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><p>Ichigo looked up at the run-down ceiling above him and grimaced at the droplets of rain coming through from the storm outside. It was cold in there as well but Ichigo refused to show it. Ever since the incident in the bedroom, the blunette had been extra careful around him and tentative to every detail. He didn't want to be treated like a baby but at the minute that was how he was acting even if he wouldn't admit it yet. This was exactly why his mother had died in the first place, and it needed to stop. Ichigo glanced at Grimmjow who had his hands in his pockets and was kicking at the dirt – like him, he was getting impatient.<p>

They had received the text at around 8:00pm with a further one indicating the meeting place and time. That was why they were currently under the battered roof of Grimmjow and Shiro's 'headquarters', the time nearing midnight. Ichigo hadn't complained about why the albino chose this specific time but it was definitely bothering the blunette.

He hadn't said it yet, but he thought the whole thing was slightly suspicious. It wasn't just the time and place that was making him feel uneasy. Other factors such as Shiro contacting through another phone had Grimmjow's hair on ends, but not that he would declare it. The only thing that had stopped him from preventing Ichigo from going was that Shiro wasn't in the right frame of mind. After all, he had just revealed unintentionally to his boyfriend that he was a murderer and a rapist! That was probably the reason for the weird text and time.

Ichigo smiled at Grimmjow, who was now muttering to himself – maybe he wouldn't be so worried about these things if he didn't care deeply for him. Ichigo unconsciously thought back to a few hours ago and quickly shook his head dispelling the thought. He would never do that again; it was just a result of his hot-wired brain. His eyes snuck another peek at the blunette his cheeks instantly warming when he found him staring. "I-I'll wait near the front and look out f-for Shiro," he stuttered, wanting to get away from tension filling the air.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Ichigo sighed as a hand grabbed the back of his shirt pulling him back. "It's dark outside!" he protested.

"So?"

"Weird people are about," he pouted slightly; his eyes shifting constantly as if those 'people' could hear him.

"I'll be careful," he promised, rolling his eyes.

"There could be rapist-!"

Grimmjow hastily shut his mouth and let go of the berry's collar. "Fine," he reluctantly agreed. "But be careful!"

Exhaling loudly, Ichigo turned back around, throwing a casual "I will," in Grimmjow's direction.

Grimmjow stared at the retreating back but not shamelessly – he really was worried. Grimmjow hadn't known Shiro all his life but during the years he had, he liked to think he knew the albino more than he knew himself! And one of the things was that he wouldn't be meeting them now. It wasn't anything to do with pride or that he was just stubborn . . . he felt guilty no doubt. The normal Shiro would be wallowing in self pity and most likely reverting to old friends such as vodka.

Grimmjow ran a hand through his hair whilst looking down at the handful of texts from the unknown number. Why would he use a different phone? Biting his lip he re-read the messages noticing that even the way he texted him sounded dodgy and, in Shiro's case, way too formal! He needed to hear his voice confirming these things. The blunette glanced back at the door where Ichigo was standing and decided - It was the only thing that would calm him down so he found the albino on his contacts and rung him.

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><p>Rain was falling; pounding down relentlessly on the paved ground and splashing against the windows of Shiro's small apartment. He sat on the windowsill, one leg pressed to his chest whilst the other lay limply to the side of the wall whilst he watched the storm. A glass containing dark, oily substance was held in one hand, the bitter liquor slowly disappearing every time he lifted the container to his cracked lips. In the other hand, was a cigarette, the embers scorching him as it burnt down to his fingers.<p>

The albino was still in the office where the orange-haired man had left him. The phone was also on the ground. Papers littered the room as well as broken glass from glasses and picture frames that he had smashed. Even now he was debating on whether to put all of the things in a pile and burn them. It would get rid of all the junk and it would keep him warm from the cold that was seeping through the cracks in the window. But nothing would warm him up.

Golden orbs hovered over the front door when the berry had run through. He didn't see it but he guessed that the door was still open in Ichigo's desperate attempt to escape the monsters cave. Shiro's mind still kept replaying to his frightened eyes – they were piercing him at every angle. Not even on the night he had raped him had he seen such terror. He could still feel his touch burning him from when he had reached out to comfort him.

_Get off me!_

Shiro flinched. Both from the memory and the sudden ringing that had disturbed the quiet air. Lazily, he looked around for the offending thing and glared when he saw his phone vibrating on the floor but didn't bother getting up to stop it. It was probably just Grimmjow again, this time telling him what an idiot he was. _But what if it's Ichi? _his mind prompted. Shiro flung himself off the window and launched at the phone, cursing when it stopped before he could answer. So what if it was Ichigo? He might be ringing to make him feel worse.

His thoughts were cut off when the phone started ringing once more sending tingles up the albino's arm. Quickly he pressed the green button wasting no time in answering in fear it would cease. " 'ello! Ichi is that ya? I'm so sorry-!"

"Shut up fuck nuts! It's Grimm!"

"Oh,"

Shiro slumped down against the window and sighed – he didn't have time for this right now.

"It's 'bout time ya picked up the goddamn phone! Where are ya, we're here like ya told us to!"

Shiro scrunched his eyes in confusion and placed a hand over the growing headache he was getting. He wanted to drink and sleep and this nut job was getting in his way. "What ta fuck ya on 'bout, ya deluded bastard!" he shouted, taking another swig of his whiskey.

"At headquarters – midnight. Ring any bells?"

"Seriously what ta fuck are ya on about!?" he demanded. "I'm tryin' ta drink," he added.

"Wait – so you weren't the one who sent us the text?"

Shiro's stomach clenched painfully. "What?"

Shiro ground his teeth listening to the frustrated mumbling of Grimmjow and then felt all reason snap when he heard Grimmjow shout Ichigo's name. "Grimmjow," he seethed. "Ya better start explaining,"

"We got a text from an unknown number claiming to be you – wanted us to meet to talk things over. I'm assuming it meant what happened at ya house,"  
>"Where ta fuck's Ichi," he growled, getting up and starting to find shoes.<p>

It was a set-up. He didn't know who by and he didn't really care but he needed them to get out. Silence. Shiro waited for an answer and grew frantic when he heard Grimmjow's breathing accelerate followed by a long string of curses. "Oi, where is-!"

"Get off him, ya bas-!"  
>A gun shot. A loud resounding shot from a gun and then the phone went static . . .<p>

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><p><strong>Heehee! Until next time ;) <strong>


	22. Red Blossom

**Whoa! Nearly forgot about this update - be so thankful I didn't . . . that would be agony for you guys! Enjoy!**

**P.S Please head over to my Facebook page 'Theanimehannah' just to follow me and my progress on stories :D**

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><p>Grimmjow glanced down at the broken phone that now lay on the floor beside him and glared. A set-up . . . He knew it yet still showed Ichigo where to go and now they were both going to pay for his mistake! Why did he have to agree to it? Surely the sensible thing would have been to call and confirm it was Shiro – <em>'che' . . . twat. <em>

"Grimm, are you ok?"

Grimmjow averted his gaze from their only means of communication and nodded his head. Ichigo, despite being trapped in someone else's arms, sighed in relief before wincing when that arm tightened its grip. The dark orbs of Isshin Kurosaki stared back into Grimmjow's rage filled azure ones. He should have known. "Get off him," he repeated, the malice in his voice scaring even himself.

"Why would I do that? – He's my compensation . . . Not to mention, the bait,"

Grimmjow growled as he watched the man squeeze ever so slightly on Ichigo's neck, but it was all the force he needed to cut his airway off. He watched helplessly as Ichigo clawed at his hands trying to free himself but it was to no avail. "Stop it!" he shouted, hoping intimidation would work.

Isshin laughed, an evil sound bouncing off the cracked walls, and grasped tighter now making small choking sobs come out of his son's mouth. How could this man do this to his own son!? Slowly, Ichigo was being deprived of oxygen, his body now slumping and his actions slurring to a halt. If he didn't do something soon he was going to die. _Shit! _

He didn't know what to do. Attack? – Unfortunately, the bastard had a gun and by the looks of it he had a pretty good aim. Grimmjow glimpsed at the phone on the floor and growled in frustration. Yep, a real good aim and now they couldn't call for help. Defend? Well, there was nothing to defend; he already had Ichigo! Grimmjow looked into Ichigo's dimming eyes and began to panic. "Stop it!" he shouted again, this time the fear edging into his voice.

Isshin smiled at his crumbling persona and squeezed that little bit tighter pushing him over the edge. "Please?"

Shit – he wanted him to beg. Normally he never begged; he would just annihilate the bastard and everyone was happy. But this time it involved another person and h wasn't ready to run into the situation head on if it involved his life. "Please," he echoed, hating the desperate, pleading tone in his voice.

The insane father grinned and released his grip, pushing his son to the floor. Collapsing in a heap, Ichigo began coughing and spluttering, desperately trying to get that much needed air back. The beginning of a purple hand mark was starting to show pissing the blunette even more. All he needed to do was signal to Ichigo and somehow get closer to him without the bastard noticing. Maybe they could make a run for it.

A click and then the loaded gun that he was holding was pointing directly at Ichigo's head. Grimmjow's heart was now battering against his ribcage as he watched Ichigo spin around and stare helplessly at the weapon that was now aiming between his eyes. "W-what do ya want!" Grimmjow yelled, hoping to distract him.

"I told you – he's bait,"

"For who?"

No sooner than he had asked the question, the answer popped into his head. Shiro. He had no idea what this twisted man wanted to do with him but he definitely wanted Shiro for some reason.

"For Shirosaki, of course," he replied, confirming his suspicions.

Ichigo's eyes widened at the idea of Shiro getting hurt because of him but was cut off when the gun pressed into his forehead making him whimper slightly. "You're still as pathetic as ever," Isshin sneered. "Perfect for my plan however,"

_Crap. _It all clicked together. Grimmjow knew what Isshin wanted Shiro for now and felt his heart clench painfully. The lunatic wasn't going to harm Ichigo, he was going to harm Shiro . . . and right where Ichigo would see. Not only would he be mentally scarred, no doubt this would push him over the edge. He may even go to such extremes as-! _No don't think about it! It won't get to that._ He intended to stop him before it got to that stage.

Grimmjow glanced over at Ichigo who was staring back at him and felt his heart sink. He knew. He knew the plan. It was that look in his eyes as he stared at Grimmjow. The blunette was right he would go to such extremes. Apparently, giving up his life was the norm for him – but Grimmjow wasn't prepared to let him do that. "Don't you dare," he mouthed.

"I have to," he mouthed back, small tears beginning to trickle down his face.

Grimmjow shook his head frantically, fear paralyzing his body and running through his veins like ice cold water. Gritting his teeth, he was just about to reply when a shrill cackle cut them both off. "So you like him! More than the other one?"

Ichigo froze. "Well, if that's the case . . . ,"

Isshin slowly retracted his arm before pointing it at Grimmjow, his aim no doubt going for the heart – a quick death. Grimmjow stepped forward hoping that if he closed the gap between them he could dodge and take the gun off him. He could save everyone! Then he saw flicker out of the corner of his eye; A shock of orange leaping out at the gun. "Ichigo, no!"

Bang.

_Ow. _Grimmjow stared at Ichigo who was staring back at him, his arms still on his father's pushing the gun away. _So his plan was to move the gun so the bullet wouldn't hit me – good plan. _His vision began to blur as he saw Isshin's infamous grin curl up and Ichigo's face contort in rage and most of all sorrow. _What the fuck's wrong with him? _

Grimmjow glanced down at the irritating sting that had invaded his chest and sighed when he saw the red splotch beginning to bloom over his chest. _Well, shit _he thought as he began to plummet to the ground, Isshin's laughter echoing in his ears. _He didn't miss._

"Grimmjow!"

_. . . That wasn't Ichi's voice. . ._

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><p><strong>Heehee . . . . sorry! The suspense is killing me as well but it has to be done! Until next time - sorry this is so short! <strong>


	23. Death's decision

**Getting heated up now! Please, please, please review – I want to know what you guys think (*does puppy dog eyes*) In advance I am sorry – you'll know what I mean . . . **

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><p>It was a quiet and dark night; the street lights flickering and alternating between on and off, the moon above offering nothing but a soft glow. Even the stars seemed to be dimmer than usual especially as black clouds rolled overhead.<p>

The loud gunshot, stuck on replay in his head, was counteracting his pounding heart and harsh footsteps as he ran through the darkness. Its reverb was making the sound echo continuously in his head, the effect causing a headache.

The albino had never been more terrified than this moment. There had been times when he had a fleeting trace of it but he soon pushed it aside knowing it was ridiculous to be feeling such a meaningless emotion.

That was different now . . .

Every inch of his body was shaking uncontrollably and his heart, that was beating so loud, felt as if it would burst from his chest! Dilating from terror and rage were his pupils, his golden orbs glistening dangerously the closer he got to the hide-out. None of the effects were due to the alcohol he had been consuming constantly just mere seconds ago. In fact, if it weren't for the alcohol he'd probably be feeling a whole lot worse!

Shiro's mind was throbbing as he desperately tried to figure out who the culprit was. At first he thought it could be the media trying to get some solid evidence that they were together – but they wouldn't grab Ichigo and pull the trigger of a gun.

A gun . . . Just thinking about it made his blood boil. Orange locks, mocha eyes and a warm smile began to invade his mind, its picture tinted in crimson blood. The prospect alone had him speeding up, his breathing ragged from running so far and so fast.

Then he saw it. Normally it looked a little sinister with its looming structure and smashed windows. Even the lack of graffiti on the old building gave it a feeling of 'stay away'. However now it seemed to be the personification of everyone's nightmares. He already had a sense of dread just looking at it accompanying the lurch in his stomach.

It wouldn't be long now. All he would have to do is turn the corner, entering the main room, and beat everyone who he didn't recognise into a bloody pulp! When he did turn the corner, he was too shocked to even do that.

The first thing he saw was the figure of Isshin Kurosaki, aiming a gun into the distance, his son lying at his feet staring up at him in fright. Shiro had mixed feelings at this point. Foremost was the anger towards the psychotic man; fist already twitching with the need to kill him.

The second was the immense relief he felt when he saw _his _Ichi, albeit a little shocked, completely unharmed (at least physically!). He was even about to sigh in relief until that shock of orange lunged towards the weapon. "Ichigo, no!" a voice shouted.

That sigh soon turned into a gasp as the trigger was pulled releasing an ear splitting bang. Everything seemed to go in slow motion at that point. He watched as Ichigo froze where he was, his arms locked around his father's in an attempt to move the gun away. But from what? Who was Isshin aiming at? Then it dawned on him.

The voice that had called Ichigo's name, the person on the receiving end of the gun and the person who had call him warning him of the danger. Shiro turned, his eyes instantly connecting with azure ones that were staring off into the distance.

The blunette looked confused at first as he looked at Ichigo's gaping face – he clearly didn't see what the problem was. That was until the scarlet liquid began to seep through his top right over his heart. Then he began to fall. "Grimmjow!"

Ichigo spun at the voice, surprised to see the albino who was now racing towards them, his pupils now consuming his entire eye. He looked every bit the demon people had often been on the receiving end of and Shiro could clearly see that even Ichigo looked a little scared. But at the minute he didn't care. His target was Isshin.

Shiro didn't even give the man time to cower in fear before he whacked the gun away, sending it flying across the room and then punching him.

Ichigo chose the opportunity to pick up the gun and run to Grimmjow's side, his eyes already blurring as he approached the seemingly lifeless body. Shiro wasn't paying attention though . . . currently his anger was consuming him letting the beast within take over. And it was not feeling merciful this time.

Forgetting his humanity, Shiro grasped the man by his neck making sure to apply just the right amount of pressure to make him suffer and not kill him. He didn't want to do that just yet. It was kind of amusing watching his hands helplessly scratch at his neck trying to pry the others iron grip off of him. Shiro couldn't help but think that the shade of purple his face was going was beautiful.

Before long, an insane smile was creeping its way onto the albino's face as he slowly choked the life out of Ichigo's father - after all, he deserved it. Shiro thought it was a shame he couldn't dispose of him in a more messy way, therefore fully satisfying his revenge, however he needed this to be quick . . . despite the fact he was getting lost in the lust. He needed to get this over with to get back to-! _What do I need ta get back ta? _he thought, still clutching the man's neck.

"Shiro!"

Suddenly, Shiro snapped out of his stupor, his eyes widening in realisation both at what he was about to do and what he had forgotten. "Shiro!" Ichigo cried again sounding frantic and on the verge of breaking down completely.

The albino looked down at the man one last time before giving an extremely hard punch causing him to fall into unconsciousness then rejoined with Ichigo. He ran up to him, falling short when he saw the blood pooling around them. All that could be heard was Ichigo's small sobs and Grimmjow's coughing as he tried to clear his throat of the blood and bile.

Powerlessly, Shiro looked down at the blunette, his mind wandering back to when he had always saved him . . . this time at a price too high to return. Slowly, Shiro knelt down beside him, looking over the wound before glancing at Ichigo. Ichigo caught the glance and knew what was happening – he had done medicine after all. He shook his head ever so slightly so Grimmjow wouldn't notice, tears rolling down his cheeks as he did. Shiro clenched his eyes, willing himself not to cry as well and turned back to the blunette. "Ya fool," he whispered.

Grimmjow, who was closing his eyes in pain, opened them to stare at Shiro, the look breaking Shiro's defences. "Yeah . . . Imma fool," he joked before coughing.

"Don't talk," Ichigo butted in, his mind automatically turning professional making his hands work on the wound.

Grimmjow attempted to swat away his hand but in the end settled for grabbing it and holding on. Ichigo hung his head; his gaze averted trying to hide his tear-stained face. They all knew, even Grimmjow. "Ichi," the blunette rumbled softly forcing him to look up.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, using his thumb to wipe at his face.

"Don't ya dare say that – we're gonna get ya ta a hospital and then-!"

"Shiro!" he interrupted. "Ya know as well as I do that it's impossible,"

"Not if we get ya there now!" he argued, his hand now gripping his wrist for comfort – both for him and for himself.

Ichigo grabbed his phone from his pocket and seemed to text someone, his hands shaking as he did. Obviously he was texting for help despite that he too knew that the chances were slim. "Sorry, I led ya to this place, Ichi,"

Ichigo shook his head, placing his phone back in his pocket, before resting a hand on his chest, a subtle hint that he should stop talking. Grimmjow chuckled at the gesture before another horrendous cough shook his entire body, this time worse than the last.

Shiro could see the first signs of panic coming from Ichigo. He was shaking, pale and of course beginning to hyperventilate. He thought that not talking back would mean that they could save him in time; he wanted to keep that distance so he wouldn't be hurt. But now as Grimmjow was getting worse he just couldn't take it anymore. And to be honest, neither could he. "I-I forgive you," he stuttered quickly, watching as Grimmjow's eyes began to close.

"Okay? Listen, I forgive you!"

Ichigo shook him a bit making the blunette open his eyes wearily, but it was a struggle. "I heard . . .," he whispered, trying to smile through his pain to reassure him before turning to Shiro.

"Look after him . . . he's definitely a keeper,"

Shiro grinned even if Grimmjow was slowly fading away and glanced at the berry who was also smiling through his tears. "Course,"

Grimmjow nodded. "I mean it. I'm glad I found ya in that alleyway and I'm glad ya came on the voice," he spoke to the pair, pausing to cough. "Ya perfect for each-other – least I won't be in the way anymore,"

"Don't say that," Ichigo cried.

Grimmjow rested his hand on Ichigo's face, gently persuading him to look him in his eyes. "Don't let him go back on himself . . . please,"

"I promise,"

Grimmjow smiled and closed his eyes before his hand that was resting on Ichigo's cheek slid off. Finally he drew his last breath but not after saying his final farewell.

_"Don't cry,"_


	24. Repercussions

**Drawing to a close (well – sorta) So sorry about poor Grimmy – I was crying just writing it! Hope you enjoy this one – lil Ichi is going to get some revenge ;)**

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><p>Tears were rolling silently down his cheeks; the droplets shining like diamonds in the moonlight that was spilling in through the cracks in the wall. Every now and then a sniffle would escape him as he tried frantically to stop his blubbering mess. He was well aware he was crying – and crying shamefully at that – despite the blunette's dying words.<p>

_Don't cry. _

How could he not cry? It was such a selfish and arrogant last request. Even in death the bastard still had the power to piss him off. Another round of sobbing and sniffling had his shoulders shaking violently; the effort to not cry becoming harder as the seconds went by. He wouldn't be able to piss him off any more . . .

Ichigo wasn't even sure what was causing this outburst. Sure, the guy had been his mentor but he had also tried to rape him! However, that was when he was doped up on drugs – and that he had forgiven him for already.

Did he count him as a friend? After they had made up about the whole drug deal they were certainly acting like it. Grimmjow gave him advice on Shiro, joked around with him and even took him out for a drink. So friends!? – well that was kind of a given seen as they had made out. Love then?

Ichigo regarded Shiro for the first time since that baritone voice had ceased and felt a pang of guilt for not realising him sooner. His face was passive as he stared down at his best-friends bloodied body even though Ichigo knew that inside he was scorching with rage. Blurry golden eyes made him want to kiss and console the albino until all the tears had washed away – he loved _him, _not Grimmjow. Yet as he glanced down he couldn't help the way his heart clenched painfully at the prospect of never seeing his azure gaze again.

_And it was all because of him! _

Unimaginable anger began to swell inside him, pushing out the grief creating mocha eyes to burn darker so that they became just as dark as the stormy sky outside. Forebodingly, he turned to his father who was now conscious but still recovering from Shiro's attack. Isshin, who caught his sons stare and noticing the lifeless body next to him, gave an evil grin making his veins boil with the intensity of his anger. Something snapped. Deep within him, he finally lost that one spark that kept him chained to a coward's life – not anymore. "Ichigo?" came a surprised yet hoarse voice.

Ichigo ignored the awakened albino and rose to his feet; targets set on the murderer in front of him. The malice in his eyes gradually began to register in Isshin's mind resulting in him backing away as his son continued to stride towards him. Suddenly having a weak and pathetic son was all he wanted, especially now sirens could be heard in the distance. Isshin began to panic.

Ichigo stopped, just short of his father, pinning the man with a gaze that was burning holes through his skull despite the vacant look on his face. "Ichigo . . . my son, Think ra-!"

His desperate plea was cut off when the red-head slammed his fist into his face sending his head down hard on the concrete floor below. Within seconds blood was pouring from a gash in his head; eyes dazed and confused from the blow. But he wasn't going to take pity or mercy . . . not any more.

Straddling his chest, he began to repeatedly throw punches to his face ignoring the crunches that could be heard every time he hit the old man. He was vaguely aware of the presence behind him but ignored it. Before long he was beginning to mutter along with his hits verging on the edge of insanity.

"Why, why, why, why, why? I'll kill you. I'll kill you! I'll smash your skull and that thick thing you call a brain – You don't deserve to be a father. You don't deserve to live!"

His father's head was now lolling to the side, blood trickling from his nose, mouth and nose; his face more purple than peach. His face was obviously smashed in and it wouldn't be a surprise if he had sustained brain he still continued. That was until strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist drawing him back. "No! He has to pay!" Ichigo screamed, thrashing around trying to finish what he started. "I'll kill him!"

"Ichi – stop!"

Ichigo stopped momentarily as Shiro spun him in his arms to look him in the eye. Pale hands cupped his face, placing a soft kiss on his forehead before murmuring, "Leave him,"

His pupils had now retracted, leaving only a pinprick of black as he realised what he had just been about to do. Ichigo risked a peek at Isshin his hand instantly covering his mouth before he had the urge to vomit. If it wasn't for Shiro's secure arms holding him up he would have collapsed on the floor, his knees were that weak. "What have I done?" he whispered to himself, trying not to let his eyes avert to the injured man collapsed on the ground.

"Shh," Shiro cooed, pulling him in and letting Ichigo bury his head in his chest.

Ichigo hid himself, ashamed at what he had done. He was so lost in his guilt that he almost didn't hear the words that Shiro next spoke. "Come on – ta police will be 'ear soon as well as ta media,"

Ichigo pushed the albino away and stalked towards the dead body, crossing his arms over his chest as if it could hide the pain. "Fuck the media," he whispered roughly. "I'm staying here with Grimm,"

Shiro flinched slightly at the acidic tone used but agreed nonetheless as Ichigo sat back down next to the blunette, reaching over so that his limp head now rested in his lap. With nothing left to do but wait for the police, Ichigo began to run his fingers through the blue strands.

Throughout the night that was all he could think about; his fingers brushing over satin hair. He promised himself he would never forget that sensation even when the doctors insisted he wasn't allowed to see him before he was buried revealing that the moment in the headquarters was his last time seeing, smelling and touching doctors didn't even bat an eyelid when he began to breakdown, trying to remember that feeling again. All they did was ask Shiro to escort him home - probably didn't want another dead body on their hands.

When the couple got home from the hospital neither could be bothered to think about the past arguments, Isshin - who was now in custody - or the fact that they would have to plan a funeral. They simply collapsed on the bed, holding each other close both having one promise on their mind.

_I won't let you die in vain, Grimm – I swear . . ._

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><p><strong>Wow . . . okay much closer to the end than I thought – probably 1-2 chapters left! This was a short one because it led off from the last. <strong>

**Please review! **


	25. Finale

**The time has come – the end is nigh :( I've had such fun writing this book but unfortunately it has now come to a close. **

**Thank you for all the reads and reviews and please look out for my next one (published Saturday). You have all been amazing :)**

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><p>A month. That was how long it had been since the rock star, Grimmjow Jeagerjacques, had died. Except it wasn't the typical famous and tragic death concerning alcohol or drugs – it was murder. The hospital had released to the press that he had died from severe damage to the heart. What they didn't tell them was that it was a bullet that had hit his heart.<p>

The media had already guessed that the hospital had been keeping this information hidden. They were the paparazzi; it was their job to find out the truth! However, that didn't stop them from making up their own scenarios. After all, no-one knew what truly happened.

But that wasn't strictly true . . .

Ichigo knew. Shiro too. They had both told the police the full story, who had arrived soon after the blunette had passed. As a result, Isshin had been taken into custody and later prison. He was sentenced to life, mainly because of the fact that he killed a pop-idol, but that still didn't give Ichigo any reassurance nor did it ease his culpable mind.

It was safe to say, the media didn't believe this story. Weeks ago they had been eager to expose the couple's love life and yet when the truth turned and stared them in the eye they pretended to be blind. Maybe it wasn't the thrilling and dangerous story they wanted to print – _sick bastards._

The couple didn't care or mind that the journalists didn't believe them. It meant they left them alone; time to grieve.

Ichigo had been hit the worst. For hours on end he would stay cooped up in his room, pleading to whatever God would listen to end the court case that seemed to be dragging on. Despite that they had all the evidence and the witnesses', Isshin's lawyer was one sneaky git. Yanking the case on was doing nothing for Ichigo's guilt; each day sending a new knife through him as he was forced to remember the events of that night.

Of course, he blamed himself – it was his incompetence that killed Grimmjow. Many times he would have dreams of stepping in between the firing line so that the pellet pierced him and nobody else.

Walking past the building, where it had all happened, on his way to court didn't exactly help his remorse.

Flowers had begun to litter the building, swamping the grey walls with its colourful cascade. People, who had never known him, left gifts and letters – Ichigo didn't see the point in that. He was gone. He couldn't receive their useless gifts. What really pissed him off were the huge posters stuck onto the battered building, depicting him and his heroism. As if he needed reminding what he had failed to do.

All of it, piled on top of one another, was the reason he cried at night despite the blunette's last wishes. Crying was the only way he got rid of his rage and sorrow because the alternative was a bridge and a long drop underneath. It was Shiro who made him think twice about that.

Shiro . . . he was supposed to be the one hurting more. It was _his _friend that he had known and what's more he had known him longer. Yet whenever the berry saw him, he would have a cool and collected look on his face. Now and then he even made his usual dirty jokes. He would have continued had it not been for Ichigo's sour mood.

Ichigo had asked him one day why he didn't feel immense hatred towards his father or extreme sadness for the best-friend he had lost. Shiro had simply replied that, what was the point?

"_What's ta point in getting' worked up over it? It wouldn't bring 'im back an' it certainly wouldn't help us move on . . . Like Grimm wants us ta act like pompous, sentimental nutcases anyway, eh?"_

That had shaken Ichigo out of his stupor. Not because of the way he said it or the fact that it was true but the look in his eyes. Without a doubt it was hurting him, not being able to do anything but his eyes held hope. Hope that they would move on and remember Grimmjow in a good way, not a bad way.

Suddenly, Ichigo stopped having dreams of suicide and 'what if's'. Even in time, he had learnt not to cry and obey Grimmjow but it was still hard. Slowly, he began to accept the help of his friends who he had been blocking out beforehand. Rukia, as always, tried to rectify every tense mood by scolding Ichigo on how he had let himself go. She did have a point.

He had thinned slightly due to the lack of nutrition reaching him. Sleep wasn't easy to come by so his eyes held bags underneath them whilst remaining bloodshot from all the tears. Accepting that he had let himself go was surprisingly easy and without knowing he was gradually beginning to forget about the whole thing. Not Grimmjow. Somewhere in the back of his mind he still remembered why he died but for now he was content with letting his memory live on.

All that was left now was the funeral.

Ichigo gazed down at the grey slab of rock they called a grave and smiled gently at the words carved onto it.

_Grimmjow Jeagerjacques_

_xxxx – xxxx_

_Special bastard who was loved by everyone_

Ichigo found himself chuckling at the typical line, and wondered who had wrote it – it sounded just like the blunette.

Gently, the wind ruffled his hair as he placed his hands in his pockets. How long had he been standing here? The service had long since ended but he didn't care. He wasn't melancholy anymore like he used to be – he was happy. Obviously, he wasn't pleased that the blunette had died. In fact sometimes he found himself angry at both himself and Grimmjow blaming the bastard for not trying hard enough to stay alive!

A snap of a twig brought him out of his reminiscence, startling him. He looked over to where he thought he heard the sound but all that he could see was a tree. _Get it together, baka! _he mentally sighed. It wasn't as if the bloody tree was watching him.

Warm arms enveloped him, wrapping around his waist before a solid body pressed against his back. "Ya alright?" a watery voice asked.

Ichigo smiled and leant back against the albino, tilting his head so he could meet the others gaze. "I'm fine, Shiro – just admiring the words,"

Shiro sniggered and planted a small kiss on the others cheek. "It sounds a lot like 'im, don't it?"

Ichigo nodded. "Who wrote it?"

"I dunno know," Shiro frowned slightly, contemplating the thought.

Ichigo's fingers traced over his worry lines, smoothing them out. Ichigo and Shiro had sorted their problems and it was safe to say they were now happy. That was what Grimmjow would have wanted. "Come on," Shiro spoke, pulling back and turning. "We got a party ta go ta,"

"I'll be there in a sec," Ichigo called over his shoulder, his mocha eyes now back on the small grave.

Shiro smiled warmly at the berry and walked off leaving Ichigo to his thoughts. The albino looked up towards the sky and closed his eyes against the suns bright rays. _Hope ya enjoyin' the view Grimm. _

Ichigo placed his hand on the grave and sighed. He would now have two graves to visit; not the way he planned things. The berry looked back at Shiro before glancing one last time at the stone, his hands clasped as if he were making a wish. "Please don't be dead,"

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><p>The tall man peeked at the orange-haired man from his hiding spot behind the tree and smiled at the boy's selfish wish. "<em>Please don't be dead," <em>Always the one to make selfish requests.

"Um, excuse me?"

On hearing a timid voice, the burly man turned his gaze resting on a teenage girl, her eyes framed by her panda eye make-up. "Um – is that hair a natural colour? You know you remind me of someone. Hey, maybe you're the ghost of-!"

"Fuck off brat!" he barked.

He watched as the girl squealed and ran away, tears already falling down her face. _Yep, I still got it. _

The unusual man turned back to where the orange-haired man had been and walked forwards making sure that the coast was clear before he did so. Glancing down at the swirly writing on the slab he couldn't help but throw his head back and laugh at his work.

_Special bastard who was loved by everyone. _

Yeah. That pretty much summed himself up!

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><p><strong>Heehee! Hope you enjoyed! Please, please review and look out for my other stories! Also please like my fb page TheAnimeHannah – until next time! <strong>


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